CORSUMING OBsEsSluN eating. They'll chew gum, suck on diet candies. They'll stay busy. Laura, a 30-year-old Southfield businesswoman, started to control her eating habits at age 14 while at Camp Tamarack. Controlling her eating, she said, meant not eating anything. She lost so much weight that first summer that a size 1 dress was too big for her. She still is not certain why this became such an important part of her life. It could have been, she said, falling out of touch with her father after her parents' divorce. She's been in and out of therapy for her eating disorders and other problems since then. She is still very aware of her weight. She maintains a strict diet, which includes coffee for breakfast, no lun- ch and usually a Greek salad for dinner. When she eats at restaurants, the salad dressing goes on the side. There is no food in her refrigerator, and she exer- cises six days a week. "I was living my own silent hell when I was younger," she said. "But now I'm happy. I'm in con- trol, and I take food very seriously. I'm not anorexic because my weight is a healthy weight now. But the difference is, I know how to stay within a range that is healthy for me. "When I was anorexic, I always thought I was fat," she said. "I wanted to eat, but I couldn't. I was told that if I didn't start eating, I'd be put in the hospital. But believe me, I wanted to eat. There was just some- thing in me that wouldn't let me. My therapy taught me that my problem was more than just with food. I wanted more from my father than he was capable of giving me." Laura said she knows she'll never be anorexic again. Still, she admits that her weight remains a big issue. She calls it a "weight fetish." She likes to go out to dinner with friends, but she sticks to her salads. She'll order major meals for her friends — "I like to eat vicariously through other people," she said. Arlene Goldberg, director of clinical services for Jewish Family Service, said Jews culturally seem to have a general obsession with food and, in many cases, it leads to an eating disorder. "We talk about food a lot," she said. "The family gets together around food, especially during the holi- days. Families who are poor in the Jewish com- munity will spend more money on food, because of its cultural importance than anything else. "The future rests with our children, and I guess we feel we need to nourish them well. But as Jews even our sins are cast aside one day a year by denying ourselves food. And then we end the most holy day of the year with what else? Food." Ms. Goldberg added that when eating disorder clients reach a dangerous low point of malnourish- ment, they are referred to doctors and clinics for medical treatment. Medical treatment is ad- vised when a victim shows a lowered potassium level; a lowered body temperature, pulse rate, blood pressure; loss of 20 percent of body weight; loss of menstrual period; and presence of facial hair called lanugo, among other conditions. Both Ms. Freedland and Ms. Odom said they work on teaching the eating dis- order victim that they can be empowered without self- destructing. Ms. Freeland said when the patient fully understands that she is worthy and capable, the nutritive recovery will follow. But this is still seen as difficult for some who have eaten 15,000 calories and then vomited it all out or for an anorexic who carefully maintains an in- take of 200 calories a day. Michael knew all about calorie counting and so did many of his high school wrestling teammates. Now a 29-year-old, Michael has only recently recovered ful- ly from his bulimia. In high school, his condition had nothing to do with looks, but everything to do with the pressure of making weight on the team. To compete, he started as a sophomore forcing himself to vomit his lunch. He'd run the hallways in two pairs of sweatsuits to lose weight. He'd even "spit off" weight. When wrestling was over, he was too steeped in his bad habit to stop. "I learned this from a teammate," he said. "The difference was, my team- mate, as far as I know, stopped at the end of the season. I kept on going. "Everything you read and hear is true. I fit the formula perfectly. My parents were divorced; my dad was an alcoholic and a hitter. He pressured me to win, win, win. And to win, I first had to make weight. I hated him. And when I won, it was secondary to making weight. After a while, making weight was my trophy; wrestling was for everyone else." Michael said that his THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS 25