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`I'd Like To Thank My Mother...

You don't have to be Jewish
to be invited to the Izzys —
but it helps.

MELINDA GREENBERG AND DANIEL SCHIFRIN

Special to The Jewish News

L

ast weekend, the film in-
dustry's biggest stars
gathered for the Izzys, a
new award established
by Hollywood's Jewish commu-
nity to acknowledge the efforts
of those raising the quality and
Yiddishkeit of American film.
The award — a reel of film con-
structed from chopped liver — cel-
ebrates Jewish themes in films,
and actors and actresses who
most prominently display their
Jewishness.
Jerry's Deli in the Valley was
abuzz with stars, agents and pa-
parazzi, as well as the occasion-

al federation fundraiser. Hosted
by Marilyn "Marilyn" Hirsh, the
mother-in-law of Academy
Award host Billy Crystal, the
three-hour ceremony proceeded
with only minor altercations.
The first presentation, The
Wandering Jew Award, went
to William Shatner and Leonard
Nimoy, two actors who have
boldly gone where no other
Semites have gone before: space.
Their next film, according to
their publicists, will absolute-
ly, positively be the last one in
the Star Trek Series. Called
"Star Trek 7: Miami Beach," the

elderly navigators will search for
the universe's best early bird
special.
Next was the Edward Scis-
sorhands Award, given to The
Actor Least Likely To Portray A
Mohel In A Comedy, Drama Or
Musical. This year was a tie be-
tween Anthony Hopkins (Han-
nibal Lechter in "Silence of the
Lambs" and Robert DeNiro
(Max Cady in "Cape Fear"). The
applause for the two actors was
interrupted by one of the more
enthusiastic waiters, who asked
the evening's most outre ques-
tion: "Who ordered tongue on
rye?" Neither DeNiro (who is
half Jewish: the upper half), nor
Hopkins could be reached for
comment.
Next was the Woman of Val-
or Award, jointly given to
"Thelma and Louise's" Susan
Sarandon and Geena Davis by
Hadassah and the National Ri-
fle Association. Although not
Jewish, the actresses said that

their experience driving a Thun-
derbird in and around Okla-
homa made them appreciate the
40 years the Israelites spent in
the desert.
The 1992 I Can Out-Rant
Jack Nicholson Award was a
five-way tie, with Warren Beat-
ty, Anthony Hopkins and Robert
DeNiro getting nods for their
work as psychopathic murder-
ers, and Nick Nolte and Robin
Williams for portraits of men
leading dysfunctional lives. An
honorable mention went to Dis-
ney's Beast, who, without the
benefit of either summer camp
or Hebrew school, never learned
to control his temper.
The evening's one snafu oc-
curred when Oliver Stone, (half-
Jewish: his father) snubbed by
the Izzy Committee which over-
looked him in all categories,
burst onto the platform to de-
scribe his next film, "Genesis,"
which promises to explore the
provocative question: did God

act alone?
Speaking of snubs, the next
category was not an award per
se, but a recognition of those
prominent Jews whose work
was not acknowledged by the
Academy. With apologies to
David Letterman (not even close
to being Jewish), the top 10 Jew-
ish snubees (seriously, now, for
the most part) are:
10. James Caan, actor: "For
The Boys."
9. Woody Allen, director: "Al-
ice."
8. Fievel Mousekewitz, ani-
mated cel: "An American Tail,
Fievel Goes West."
7. Harrison Ford (half-Jewish:
his mother), actor: "Regarding
Henry."
6. Dustin Hoffman, actor:
"Hook."
5. Sven Christianson (he
knows someone who is Jewish),
cinematographer: "Lashie Ar-
buge Arnoon" (My Mother Was
A Swedish Dentist.)

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

73