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Mary Fisher Confronts
Myths Of AIDS Stigma

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20

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ary Fisher knew
about the taint.
She knew about
the notion that "Jews don't
get AIDS," especially Jew-
ish women. She also knew
that it was the stigma that
made her want to talk open-
ly and aloud.
Since the Detroit Free
Press published the exten-
sive story last week, the
daughter of Jewish philan-
thropist and political power
figure Max Fisher has been
a topic of national discus-
sion. But Ms. Fisher will
readily say that coming out
in the open about her HIV
infection has a flip side, a
dark, lonely, by-herself side.
These are the reflections
that no one will ever see in a
newspaper article. Still,
she's had to deal with the
stigma, and she's had to
work through the affects
public discussion of her in-
fection will have on her life
and her father's work.
"Of course, part of my vi-
sion is to remove the dis-
crimination associated with
this disease," she said in a
telephone interview from
her home in Florida. "I don't
know that I want to focus on
being different —Jewish. I
realize that there might be
negative ramifications to my
father's work in the Jewish
world. But I couldn't let that
stop me from talking about
this. And maybe, this could
be a help because now any-
one can see you can be Jew-
ish and get this."
Ms. Fisher said the out-
pouring of love and support
she's received from Detroit
and around the country was
bigger than anyone could
have expected. She added
that many of the Jewish
leaders she has spoken to
have offered their personal
services to help educate the
public about AIDS.
But getting used to the
moments alone also is an un-
fortunate part of her edu-
cation. And, she said, she's
learning to facilitate her
anger and reach down deep-
ly for forgiveness.

"The reality is that my ex-
husband didn't plan to get
this. My belief is very spiri-
tual at some point that there
must be a reason for this. I
feel a strong motivation
spiritually now. The motiva-
tion is that that I'm not ask-
ing 'why me?' anymore. I'm

just praying for the strength
to do what it is that needs to
be done."
Ms. Fisher said she really
isn't a religious person, yet
she is a spiritual one. She
said every day she borrows
from the values and prin-
ciples of Judaism. Her belief
system in God alone has
helped her, especially lately.
"I believe that the
forgiveness that God teaches
us is a major part of this,"
she said. "If I was angry, I'd
be angry about a research
system that categorized this
disease with gay men and
I.V. drug users and never
thought women could be af-
flicted. At this point, I'm just
grateful that I don't have to
go on any medication.
"You know, my 4-year-old
asked me about God through
all of this," she said. "He
wanted to know who does
God bless? I told him that
God is the universe and He's
the protection that all of us
have. Right now, though, his
mommy's not sick, so it's
difficult to explain that she
has a disease that might
sometime in the future be
fatal."
Ms. Fisher plans to let
people in positions of power

"You know, my
4-year-old asked
me about God
through all of this."

Mary Fisher

and influence see what she
called "a different face" with
this disease.
"I want to let people slowly
come to grips with what all
of this means," she said. "I
can do that through inter-
views, through appearances
and even through fund-
raising events."
She'd also like to plan a
national telethon to benefit
AIDS research and edu-
cation.
"It went into the thought
process," she said. "My
father is a great human-
itarian. He raised me to give
back if you are fortunate
enough to do so. When this
came up for me, I was lucky
that I had role models like
my mother and (former First
Lady and personal friend)
Betty Ford who told me that
if I was in a position to help
other people, do it. My
father's work is so extensive
in the Jewish community. I
don't think I could hurt that
work." ❑

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