FEELING GOOD '92 • FEELING GOOr

GOOD '92 • FEELING GOOD '92 • FEELING GOOD '92 • FEELING GOOD '92

A L. L.. A 13 CO LP I'

JANET RUTH FALON and
BARBARA PASH

Special to The Jewish. News

U

New theories have
emerged on how
to handle this
explosive emotion.

nless you've
been holed
up in a her-
mit shack for
the bulk of
the past decade, you
can't, in this psycho-
logically savvy era,
have escaped the
awareness of anger as
the last, great un-
managed emotion, the
remaining untamed
wilderness of our
psyches. But the ex-
perts' approach to
anger is changing.
Where once it was con-
sidered acceptable, even
healthy, to "let it all
hang out," now we are told
that "holding it in" might be
preferable.
Our "old" thinking on
anger came from a variety of
sources. Pop psychological
magazine articles said it was
normal for us to feel anger
welling up like a volcano.
Self-help books tried to
defuse our perception of
anger, turning it from a
"negative" emotion to a
powerful force for construc-
tive personal change.
Therapists on TV and radio
talk shows told us it was
okay, even desirable, to ex-
press our anger. In fact, we
were warned that suppress-
ing our anger could be ex-
tremely dangerous to our
health.
Rhoda Posner, a clinical
social worker and director of

the district offices of Jewish
Family Services in
Baltimore, notes that the
popular theory on anger has
changed from the '60s and
'70s notion of freely express-
ing anger. But Ms. Posner
takes it one step further.
"The whole concept of im-
pulsiveness is a balance
between freedom and control
— being free to express
yourself and controlling
yourself."
In the new thinking about
anger, instead of venting our
wrath at every opportunity,
experts are urging us to
"hold in the reins" of un-
bridled expression. Experts
are also suggesting we try to
manage the sticky situation
or interpersonal relationship
that triggers our anger
before it gets to that ex-
plosive point.
In essence, we are being
encouraged to temper (no
pun intended) our emotional
response to anger with an in-
fusion of thoughtfulness,
reason and self-control.
And, ironically, it is now
for the same overall goal —
the preservation of our emo-
tional and physical well-
being — that we are in-
structed to hold in what we
were previously told to let
out fully.

New Theories
This new thinking about
anger takes shape in many
ways. Dr. Howard Field,
clinical professor of
psychiatry and human be-
havior at the Jefferson
Medical College of Thomas
Jefferson University in
Philadelphia, suggests that
we learn new communica-
tion and problem-solving
skills as a preventative mea-
sure against letting a situa-
tion unravel to the point
where we experience anger.
If that doesn't work, and we
need to express anger, we
should do it in a manner that
doesn't provoke an
escalating counterattack.
"It may seem surprising
but some people have to be
taught to tell others to stop
stepping on their toes," says
Dr. Field, who recommends
something as simple as
taking an assertiveness
training course for people
with this problem. He also
recommends cognitive
therapy, which uses asser-
tiveness training techniques
as well as more specific in-
structions, for people who
have long-buried anger.
"In assertiveness training,
you learn to get your needs
met, to get the source of an-
noyance relieved before you
have to take drastic means,"
he explains. "The goal is to
get the obstructions reliev-
ed.
"If you can't do this, you
have to be direct, to be able
to say to someone, 'You're
doing something and it's
making me angry, and what
is necessary to solve this?' "
Dr. Field continues. "All you

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

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