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Advertising in The Jewish News Gets Results
Place Your Ad Today. Call 354.6060

VEMBER 29 1991

Heartburn and high cholesterol were a
family tradition until the year I tried
out a new menu.

Special to The Jewish News

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116

MULTI-COLORED

44"

Chanukah Lite

737.1610

WEST BLOOMFIELD ST RE • NLY

WEST BLOOMFIELD STORE ONLY

Ii4A

Vt'C.

6698 ORCHARD LAKE RD.
West Bloomfield Plaza

was tired of frying potato
latkes for Chanukah, then
being grilled by "The Food
Police." Like Joe Friday in the
old TV series "Dragnet," the
latke eaters in my family
wanted "just the facts."
While munching on latkes,
they fired questions at me
like:
"Is the oil unsaturated?"
"Do you know what these
are doing to my arteries?"
Midway through the meal,
someone was sure to com-
plain, "I feel an attack of
latke-itis coming on. Where's
the 'rums?"
The questions killed no-
body's appetite but mine. No
matter how many latkes I
fried, there were never left-
overs. But the "kvetching"
about cholesterol, calories
and heartburn made me feel
less like a Jewish Julia Child
and more like Lucretia
Borgia, the medieval poi-
soner.
So last year, before Chanu-
kah, I invented a Chanukah
Lite menu with some help
from my friend Fran. I de-
cided to surprise my family
with healthy eating on the
first night of the holiday.
My meal wouldn't begin
with the Jewish "Surf and
Turf," gefilte fish and chopped
chicken livers. I'd begin with
vegetarian chopped "liver"
made from string beans,
mushrooms and the 90s an-
swer to oat bran, garlic.
I wouldn't rely on old Jew-
ish holiday staples like mat-
zah ball soup, brisket,
potatoes, "and," as in "coffee
and . . ." According to my
mother, an "and" expert,
"and" is a nice (i.e., huge)
fresh (i.e., home-baked) piece
of apple strudel, or maybe a
couple (i.e., four to six per per-
son) of "ruggies" (i.e., rug-
galach, cream cheese and but-
ter cookies stuffed with jam,
nuts and raisins).
The main course would be
roast chicken stuffed with a
mock derma of grated carrots,
onions and crushed corn-
flakes. Of course, I was serv-
ing latkes. Fran gave me a
great recipe for baked zuc-
chini latkes made with Egg
Beaters and whole wheat
flour. And lest I be accused of
not following the tradition of

I

Carol Gross is a writer in
East Northport, N.Y.

cooking latkes in oil, the bot-
tom of the latke pan would be
coated with canola oil.
My "Nouvelle Latkes"
would be served with ap-
plesauce; instead of artery
clogging sour cream, I'd
prepare an herbed yogurt dip.
"And" would be oatmeal
cookies made with unsul-
phured raisins and dry
roasted nuts. My menu com-
bined tradition, taste and
healthy eating. I couldn't wait
for my family to try it.
Before Chanukah, I smiled
when I heard about crash
dieting and overdosing on
latkes. My husband Herb, the
Heartburn Kid, was dosing
himself with antacid before
the latkes, as a preventive
measure.
He debated the pros and
cons of liquid versus chewable
antacid with my brother-in-
law. Both men usually ended
my holiday dinners with
white powdery tell-tale
residue of antacid around
their lips. My brother-in-law
was a fan of Gelucil. My hus-
band swore by 'rums.

Well, I won't drag out the
suspense. After slicing, dicing
and grating for hours, the
food tasted delicious. But
Chanukah Lite, as a concept,
went over like a lead balloon.
My husband characterized
the mock "liver" as "in-
teresting," his code word for
"yuck." My son David, a
lapsed vegetarian, suggested
adding tofu to improve the
texture.
Others weren't so diplo-
matic, especially after I
served the mock derma and
zucchini latkes.
"Will the real latkes please
stand up!" joked an uncle. His
comment prompted a nostal-
gic trip back to the days when
mothers fried everything in
chicken fat.
"Remember real derma, so
greasy it slid on the plate?"
asked a cousin.
"And real chopped chicken
livers fried with `gribbenes'?"
said my mother, who was in-
sulted that I hadn't used her
latke recipe.
"I can still see Mama sew-
ing (the skins of) chicken
necks together before she
stuffed them," said my hus-
band.
"And what about the chal-
lah dipped in schmaltz?"
countered his sister. "You
know Grandpa lived 'til his
90s, and his answer to low

Continued on Page 86

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