(OPINION
HOUSEHOLD GOODS
DRIVE
FOR NEW AMERICANS
Fanning
Continued from Page 7
Sponsored by the
Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Detroit
Young Adult Division
Volunteer Committee
Sunday, November 3
10 a.m. - 4 p.m.
Resettlement Service Warehouse
Northland Mall
Greenfield Rd., south of 9 Mile
Lot E, Aisle 17
(two doors from Kerby's Koney Island)
(Please bring your usable household goods)
Items Needed
•cooking and eating utensils •dishes and glassware •bedding and linens
•radios and televisions
•tables and chairs
•sofas
•typewriters and
•bookcases and desks •lamps
small appliances
For more information, contact the Young Adult Division of the
Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Detroit, 965-3939, ext. 161
Studio In Harvard Row Mall
deepest emotional attach-
ment to the Jewish state
when it is under physical
threat from its enemies,
such as Iraqi Scud attacks,
rather than during times of
relative tranquility.
But isn't that just human
nature? We take things for
granted until they are
threatened. Indeed, some
Jewish organizations are
most successful in tapping
into this need within us to
protect ourselves from our
enemies. Jews who would
not contribute a dime to in-
crease ritual observance
give thousands of dollars to
organizations purporting to
combat anti-Semitism, or
the threat of it.
But the notion that we can
best enhance Jewish
awareness and commitment
through fear is short-
sighted. Anti-Semitism
alone won't sustain us.
(And what if, God forbid,
we put an end to such racism
and bigotry — will there be
anything left of our Judaism
for us to celebrate?)
Exposing our young people
to anti-Semitism may pro-
vide a quick fix, a jump-start
on the road to Jewish identi-
ty. But we must offer far
more, the kind of Jewish ed-
ucation and understanding
that has brought us this far
over the centuries.
To have meaning and res-
onance, Judaism must
become a way of life, a
source of inner joy and satis-
faction. It must be an affir-
mation of faith rather than a
means of saying "no" to our
enemies.
Are You Ready For
The Cleveland CPAs?
AUTUMN SALE
White Goose Down Quilts
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ade
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21728 W. Eleven Mile Rd.
Harvard Row Mall
Southfield, MI 48076
Free Professional Measure at
No Obligation
Free in Home Design Consulting
22
e
Ferndoi
ALL NAME BRANDS
•
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P
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FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 1991
Hours: Mon.-Sat. 10-5
Great Stuff!
Great Sale!
6692 Orchard Lake Rd. ' W. Bloomfield
In The W. Bloomfield Plaza
851-4410
What are we to make of
the recent protests by Native
Americans about the names
of professional and collegiate
sports teams deemed offen-
sive, from the Atlanta
Braves to the Florida State
Seminoles?
How would we Jews, so
sensitive to the slurs, and
even shrugs, of Christian
America, feel about a team
named, say, the Denver
Diamond Dealers?
Well, truth to tell — and
please forgive me — but I
like it.
I say, if Native Americans
want to get rid of these
names, we should volunteer
to take them.
In baseball, we could
choose between the Atlanta
Attorneys and the Cleveland
Indian-givers.
Hockey could feature the
Hartford Wailers and college
football would include the
Florida State Furriers. In
the NFL, of course, we'd
have the Washington
Foreskins.
You could just imagine the
costumes the band and
cheerleaders would wear.
And the Tomahawk Chop
could be replaced by the
Tevya Clip.
By me, tens of thousands of
people in a stadium chanting
"Throw Momma From The
Train A Knish" would be to
kvell, 0
SATIRE
Ten Sure-Fire Lines
For Yitzhak Shamir
To Break The Ice
In Madrid
10. To George Bush: "Have
you got change for a dollar
for the soda machine? No?
Well, how about $10 billion
for the loan guarantee?
("Just kidding, Mr. Presi-
dent.")
9. To James Baker: "Who
says I'm a hard-liner? How
about we name our next new
West Bank settlement after
you — and throw in a JNF
forest?"
8. To an Israeli aide:
"Have you heard the latest?
They say that (Foreign Min-
ister) David Levy is starring
in the Israeli version of
Home Alone."
7. To the gathered
assembly: "Gentlemen, Sec-
,- retary Baker has informed
me that if we are unable to
reach an agreement, he will
bring in his secret weapon:
Dan Quayle trying to define
U.N. Resolutions 338 and
442."
6. To the gathered
assembly: "I guarantee that
by Chanukah, I will pledge
my complete and unwaver-
ing support of the PLO — the
Potato Latkes Organization!"
5. To the gathered
assembly: " . . . would you
believe Dan Quayle trying to
add 338 and 442?"
4. To the gathered
assembly: "I just heard Cor-
by say to Bush: 'Well, I put
out the little flags and the
place cards. Isn't there
anything else for me to do?"
3. To King Hussein: "Your
Majesty, it's a pleasure to
meet a Mideast leader even
shorter than me."
2. To Syrian President
Assad: "I suppose it was
after you read Chutzpah that
you realized you could ask
for all of Lebanon, all of the
Golan Heights and half of
New Jersey."
1. To the media (on why he
approved the site of the con-
ference): "Madrid?! I
thought they said 'a
Yid!' "
Gary Rosenblatt
❑