SINGLE LIFE

ANITA H. EHRENFRIED

Special to the Jewish News

hen I was 20, I left
Antioch College
and headed back to
Detroit in a caravan of fami-
ly and friends. I married
David, a fellow Antiochian,
four days after graduation.
Ten years after graduation
we returned to Yellow Springs
with our five-and-a-half-year-
old son. We were on the brink
of divorce, but wanted to at-
tend our reunion together. It
was one of the last trips the
three of us took as a family.
The next year we separated.
A year later, we divorced.
I was engaged when I left
Antioch in 1971. I was mar-
ried when we returned to
Yellow Springs for our 10-year
reunion with Joshua in 1981.
Today, I'm a single parent,
and I attended my 20th reu-
nion alone. My teen-aged son
was visiting his father.
I returned to my alma
mater to rediscover old
friends, many of whom I had
lost track. The thought of the
trip back down 1-75 was ex-
citing, yet eerie. Would people
ask me about my ex-husband?
Would I want to answer their

W

Anita Hoffman Ehrenfried, far right, and former classmates renew acquaintances.

tioch Revisited

questions? The answer to that
I knew, was "no."
This trip was mine.
The year 1991 was pivotal
for me. I returned to graduate
school to complete my
teaching certification. I was
teaching, writing, tutoring
and photographing. I was
proud of the person I had
become in my eight years as
a single parent.
As I approached Dayton
and Montgomery County, I
became more excited. By
Greene County, where Yellow
Springs and Antioch meet, I

was jumping up and down in
the driver's seat.
lb its students and faculty,
Antioch is more than a col-
lege — it's a philosophy and a
way of life. Horace Mann, An-
tioch's first president, once
said, "Be ashamed to die un-
til you have won some victory
for humanity." I wanted to
discover if, on my own, I had
gained such a victory.
The birth of my son, and my
pride in having raised him
alone since he was six, was a
victory of sorts. But what else
have I done that Mr. Mann

would call a "victory for
humanity?"
How would I measure up,
single again, on campus?
What would people think of
me? What would I think of
myself? Was I the same per-
son, as single Anita Hoffman
Ehrenfried, as I was as Anita
Hoffman in Yellow Springs?
My last year on campus,
David and I were
recognizably attached. We
became officially engaged in
the spring of 1971, three
months before our
graduation.

College
reunions can
be difficult
when only
half a couple
returns.

Members of the Class of 1971

Antioch College

Some friends told me at
the reunion their mothers
pointed me out to them as the
"nice Jewish girl who was
getting married." The paren-
tal implication, I think, was
they should have made the
same plans.

Actually, our decision to
marry was spontaneous. We
had planned to marry a cou-
ple of years after graduation
if we still felt the same way
about each other. However, it
was an uncertain time.
The Vietnam War draft was
on and David was not yet
deferred as a 4-F. I was
already admitted to graduate
school and David had applied
to a number of graduate
schools.
We didn't know if we'd ever
see each other if we didn't
marry after graduation. So,
we married in June 1971. The
marriage lasted for 11 years.
Suddenly, I was again
single.
I thought a lot about how
much an integral part of each
student's Antioch experience
is working in the "real
world," learning about oneself
and about survival through