A
Celebration
Sharon Goldman's bat mitzvah is more
than the normal rite of passage
RONELLE GRIER
Special to The Jewish News
Photo by Glenn Triest
W-
hen nearly 100
people crowded
Congregation Beit
Kodesh in Livonia
. for Friday night
services that usually attract
no more than 25, it seemed
like something special was
about to happen.
When 40-year-old Sharon
Goldman, who has develop-
mental disabilities and uses a
wheelchair, recited the open-
ing prayer for the service in
which she would become a bat
mitzvah, there was no doubt.
What made the occasion
even more special is that Ms.
Goldman is the first resident
of a JARC (Jewish Association
for Residential Care) group
home to have a real bat mitz-
vah, the kind most Jewish
boys and girls usually have as
a matter of course.
But for Ms. Goldman, the
path from birth to bat mitzvah
was longer than most, and
fraught with considerable
challenges.
Although she had no formal
Hebrew studies as a
youngster, Ms. Goldman says
that the many b'nai mitzvah
she attended for her cousins
over the years inspired her to
want her own.
That wish became a reality.
when Ms. Goldman and the
other women in the Florence
and Charles Milan Haverim
Home in Farmington Hills
were invited to services at
Beit Kodesh. Ms. Goldman
decided then that she wanted
to pursue her religious studies
in a more meaningful way.
Judy Rubin, Judaica consul-
tant for JARC, approached
Rabbi Craig Allen about the
possibility of a bat mitzvah for
Sharon at Congregation Beit
Kodesh. Although he had
never worked with anyone
with developmental disabili-
ties before, he said yes
immediately.
"It seemed like a more uni-
que and authentic approach to
Judaism, to reach out into the
community like this:' said
Rabbi Allen. "And Sharon is
so much more appreciative
than the average bat mitzvah
candidate!'
Rabbi Allen, who has tu-
tored residents of other JARC
Haverim homes, began
visiting Ms. Goldman regular-
ly at her home several weeks
prior to her Aug. 16 bat mitz-
vah. He made audio tapes of
each of the prayers she was to
learn, in addition to writing
out the phonetic translitera-
tions on cue cards.
"I told her she was just like
Johnny Carson," said Rabbi
Allen. "I wanted to provide
her with as many reinforce-
ments as possible!'
Ms. Goldman is the
daughter of Edith Goldman of
West Bloomfield and the late
Ben Goldman.
"I'm thrilled:' Mrs. • Gold-
man said at the Oneg Shabbat
Rabbi Craig Allen
tutored Sharon Goldman
•
following services, although
she insists the bat mitzvah
was Sharon's idea.
In addition to the Friday
night gathering, the festivities
included an open house at Ms.
Goldman's Haverim home_ on
Sunday.
Before the bat mitzvah, Mrs.
Goldman was the typical
Jewish mother, worrying
about her daughter's upcom-
ing performance. "Are you
sure she's ready?" she asked
Rabbi Allen during a
rehearsal.
"No problem:' Rabbi Allen
answered calmly. "She reads
well and she sings, and those
are the two main things. She
could do it tonight!'
Sharon Goldman was in-
deed ready on the evening of
Aug. 16, when she recited
several prayers and psalms
throughout the service in a
clear, confident voice. In place
of a sermon, Rabbi Allen ask-
ed Ms. Goldman to speak to
the audience, claiming that
she had "infinitely more
wisdom to impart" than he
did.
Mrs. Goldman said the long
weeks of study were "not very
hard," and she hoped to con-
tinue her Jewish studies. She
pointed out other members of
her group home in the au-
dience, including her room-
mate, who were now planning
b'not mitzvah of their own.
"Sharon is just inspiring
everybody around here," said
Margo Berry, manager of the
Florence and Charles Milan
Haverim home.
According to Judy Rubin,
Ms. Goldman's bat mitzvah is
just the beginning of a com-
munity-wide movement to
make this rite of passage
available to all Jewish people,
regardless of disability.
B'nai mitzvah are schedul-
ed at several synagogues
throughout the Detroit area,
for JARC residents and
clients, as well as other in-
dividuals with a variety of
special needs.
"The rabbis and cantors are
all generously donating their
time," Ms. Rubin said. "So far,
no one has turned us down!'
Some synagogues have in-
vested more than time to
make their facilities accessible
to people with disabilities.
Temple Beth El recently in-
stalled a permanent ramp
leading up to the bimah to ac-
commodate the upcoming bar
mitzvah of Dan Kaplan, who
uses a wheelchair.
For David Fishman; 27, his
bar mitzvah at Temple Israel
is a long-awaited dream come
true for his parents, Claire
and Louis Fishman of Hun-
tington Woods.
The dream began to take
shape when David, who has
developmental disabilities,
read a prayer during the bat
mitzvah service of his niece in
Seattle.
"He did so well, people were
so impressed;' Mrs. Fishman
said. "He really realized then
that he could do it, and I said,
`David, it's not too late — if
you want a bar mitzvah, you
can still have one! "
Debbie Fishman, who is
married to David's brother,
Randy, approached Temple
Israel.
"They were wonderful," she
said. "They'd never done it
before, but they're treating it
like a regular bar mitzvah!'
And, like a "regular" bar
mitzvah, David's family
members will be coming in
from Seattle and other cities
around the country to attend
the event.
"If I invited everyone who
told me he'd like to come, I'd
have to hire Cobo Hall;' Mrs.
Fishman said. "We're really so
proud of him. It's such an ac-
complishment!'
❑
THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
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