COMMUNITY Hidden Children Share Their Memories Staff Writer E rna Gorman has been a hidden child for most of her life. When the Nazis invaded France, Mrs. Gorman, her parents and her sister fled their home in Metz and found refuge on a farm near the Ukranian border. A local farmer hid her family in his hayloft. They remained hidden there for two years. The farmer and his wife kept the family's existence a secret from their own chil- dren. As a result, Mrs. Gor- man, who was 7 years old, was forced to live in com- plete silence. For two full years, her family never came down from that hayloft. At the end of World War II, her family journeyed back to France. Mrs. Gorman's mother never made it. She died on the road. Mrs. Gorman decided that no one should ever know of her past. She made a pact with herself never to speak to anyone about what she lived through. Her secret followed her to Detroit in 1953, where she even kept it from her husband and chil- dren — until six years ago. At the age of 44, Mrs. Gorman broke her silence. "I could never deal with it," Mrs. Gorman said, "Even when the movie Holo- caust came out a few years ago, I refused to watch it. Consequently, my guilty feelings continued to grow. "When my husband told me about the gathering of hidden children in New York I had very mixed emo- tions, but in my heart, I felt it was time." Mrs. Gorman, who lives in Bloomfield Township with her husband, Herb, was one of about 10 Detroiters who went in May to New York City for the first interna- tional gathering of children hidden in the Holocaust. Approximately 1,500 child survivors attended the May 27-28 conference, which was held at the New York Mar- riott Marquis Hotel. Mrs. Gorman was one of five guest panelists invited by CHAIM, Children of Holocaust Survivors Association in Michigan, to share their stories and ob- servations July 7 at the Jew- ish Community Center in West Bloomfield. Charles Silow, president of CHAIM, said 1.5 million children perished in the Holocaust. He thinks 10,000 children were saved. "Anyone who lived through it is a miracle," said Mr. Silow, who is president of CHAIM. "The gathering celebrated those who surviv- ed, but it also honored those ordinary people who did ex- traordinary things to save Jews." Rene Lichtman, 53, who joined the panel, was adopted by a Catholic family living on the outskirts of Paris. "Lots of us have identity problems," said Mr. Lichtman, who lives in Southfield. "For the longest time, I couldn't figure out if I was a Catholic or a Jew." When the Germans invad- ed France in 1940, Mr. Lichtman's father joined the army. He was killed shortly after. In 1945, Mr. Lichtman's mother returned for him. "She was a stranger to me;' he said. "I'd already been baptized, and she wanted me to be Jewish and take me to a Jewish environment. I wore a cross with the Virgin Mary." But he had made ar- rangements with a Catholic family to take care of his son if anything should happen to him. "In retrospect, I had a happy childhood," Mr. Lichtman said. "I don't recall any real negative ex- periences, except for the fact that I was essentially hidden." Mr. Lichtman lived at the edge of town, close to a railroad crossing. He re- members the location being militarily significant and recalled that soldiers were stationed nearby. In 1945, Mr. Lichtman's mother returned for him. "She was a stranger to me," he said. "I'd already been baptized, and she wanted me to be Jewish and take me to a Jewish envi- ronment. I wore a cross with the Virgin Mary." Artwork from Newsday by Gary Viskupic. Copyright* 1991, Newsday. Distributed by Los Angeles Tunes Syndicate. In 1950, Mrs. Lichtman remarried an Orthodox Jew and took her son with her to Williamsburg, N.Y., Mr. Lichtman was 121/2. "I had my bar mitzvah in Williamsburg, a Chasidic section of Brooklyn," Mr. Lichtman said. "Several years later, after I joined the U.S. Army, an examining physician discovered I'd been living with an ulcer from childhood. "I never considered myself to have experienced real trauma," he said. "I thought I was well-adjusted and well- acclimated." Ina Silbergleit, who as a child survived the Warsaw Ghetto, said she has noticed common psychological and emotional characteristics among child survivors. "They (child survivors) have a tendency to become high achievers," Mrs. Silbergleit said, "but some never become fully comfor- table with their success, almost shying away from no- toriety when they achieve it." Mrs. Silbergleit said many tend to be more quiet and se- rious. Their early confine- ment makes the childhood of their own children the more precious. "We have a need to make up in some way for our lost youth," she said. "We have a definite need for recognition to cancel out the anxiety and fear of abandonment." Mrs. Silbergleit's family stayed together until the uprising of the Warsaw Ghetto. Her father owned a lace factory in Warsaw before the war. When the Germans invaded Poland, her father's factory was taken over and forced to manufacture German uniforms. Her father was permitted to stay on and manage the factory. The rest of her family hid in the fac- tory and in homes throughout the ghetto. Often, they hid under stacks of Nazi uniforms. "Warsaw had a network for smuggling Jews out of the ghetto," Mrs. Silbergleit said. "Even the people who did it purely for mercenary reasons still deserve credit for risking their lives." Mrs. Silbergleit said there is such a thing as an anti- Semitic rescuer. "Some just couldn't bear to see a child murdered," she said, "while the same kinds of people didn't mind when it happened to a larger group as a whole." When the ghetto was liq- uidated in 1943, Mrs. Silbergleit and her mother were put on a train headed for a concentration camp. "My mother never let go of my hand on the train," she said. "When she jumped off, she dragged me with her. We walked for days, slept in fields and in barns. Even- tually, she left me in a con- vent with sisters to look after me. I didn't know I was a Jew until the war was over. "When I was reunited with my mother, she gave me a mezuzah to wear around my neck. I didn't want to wear it because the sisters had given me a cross to wear. My mother wouldn't let me wear both together, so I didn't wear either one." Mrs. Silbergleit said many hidden children had to cope twice with the pain of separation. The first was the separation from their natural parents. The second was the separation from the foster families and institu- tions that took care of them. Helen Bennett, who lives in Southfield, was hidden in a Swiss convent and then given shelter by a Swiss family. "I remember a church ser- vice I wanted desperately to attend," Mrs. Bennett said. "The priest wouldn't let me. I was so upset; I sat and cried in the barnyard outside. My foster mother came outside to sit with me and showed me a strange book with diff- erent letters and shiny pic- tures. She said, 'This is where you come from; this is where you belong.' " Members of the July 7 panel said many survivors tend to discount their expe- rience, thinking that they didn't suffer the way concen- tration camp survivors did. "I felt I didn't deserve to be acknowledged because I wasn't tortured like other Jews were," Mrs. Silbergleit said. "One of the things I learned from the conference was to be able to say, 'I ex- isted,' and 'I'm a human be- ing too.' " Sidney Bolkosky, a pro- fessor of history at the Uni- versity of Michigan - Dear- born, urged all survivors to form support groups. He's spent the last 10 years interviewing and recording Holocaust survivors' experi- ences. "It's too late for most con- centration camp survivors to find comfort in each other's words," he said, "but it's not too late for you." ❑ THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS 45 OM MU NIT AMY J. MEHLER