"Infertility is almost like
a death. You have to
mourn the loss before
you can move on."
—ISABELLE HORON FEINBERG
She stayed with the
priest's family for seven
more weeks. Because of her
facility with the language,
few people realized that
Mrs. Kulis was American.
Instead, they usually
mistook her prosperous,
healthy appearance as
Hungarian. She helped out
at the orphanage, learned
which Romanian officials to
bribe to get things done, and
at times, put up with anti-
adoption sentiments from
townspeople who began to
recognize her.
Since completing the
adoption, Richard Kulis has
made contact with Roma-
nian lawyers in Bucharest
who represent an American
law firm. Working with
them, he has streamlined
much of the process of
locating adoptable babies
and helped implement 15
Romanian adoptions with
Michigan couples, the ma-
jority of whom are Jewish.
28
FRIDAY, JUNE 21, 1991
Jewish Family Service has
completed 10 additional
home studies for these
families. The fee of $10,000,
which includes translators,
home study and travel ex-
penses, is much less than
the Kulises paid.
Though not specializing in
adoptions, Richard Kulis fits
in the new workload on
nights and weekends. Last
Valentine's Day, the couple
led an orientation session at
JFS for those seeking more
information on Romanian
adoptions.
Right now, Mr. Kulis is ex-
ploring new developments
in Bulgaria, a country with
a history of resistance to the
Nazi occupation and a large
Jewish population.
"We hear that there are
Bulgarian orphans who
have some Jewish ancestry,"
he says. "Pure Bulgarians
cannot emigrate for adop-
tion, but a number of
children of mixed heritage
in orphanages there are
adoptable."
The JFS' Esther Krystal
has reservations. "Roma-
nian adoptions are not for
the faint-hearted. You have
to be streetwise," she says.
"We could have brought
children here through our
agency, but we believe that
people need to go there to
pick out their own children.
You know that these kids
are coming from some kind
of disruptive circumstances,
and they are more at risk
than most children — emo-
tionally and physically."
Whether Latin, Asian, or
Romanian, Ms. Krystal feels
concern that parents keep
some kind of ties with the
culture of the children's
pasts. "It is important for
these children to know
where they came from;' she
says.
The Feinbergs keep an
album of pictures of Mark
and his caretakers at the or-
phanage. They display Col-
umbian artifacts in their
home that they picked up on
their trips.
Helen Shore has served as
a "greeter" for newly arriv-
ing Korean infants and at-
tends multi-cultural parties
and picnics sponsored by the
adoptive agency. She is seek-
ing other families similar to
hers so Douglas will have
the support of peers.
Dorothy Kulis has careful-
ly etched the meeting with
the twins' biological mother
in her memory so she can
tell them about her when
they ask.
Yet, despite the current
American preoccupation
with cultural diversity and
multi-culturalism, observers
say the issues of personal
identity surrounding adop-
tion are profound.
"In adoption," Horon
Feinberg says, "you have to
be comfortable with not
knowing everything." ❑
Twenty-five years
ago, 50 percent of
unwed mothers
opted for
adoption. Today,
less than 10
percent do.