I HOLOCAUST I Affording the best is not the questionmfinding the best is. Seeing The World Through Holocaust Eyes MARGARET EISEN Special to The Jewish News S A ifnTM ApartmeM RAng h a Shn Osid Klurehg Fad Ey - erson POT no eAscrtrinhoUng p [requMng Megurn snAronmecin Bortz Health Care Family owned and operated for over 33 years Medicare approved 363-4121 See the Flanders Mansion located in a beautiful residential neighborhood overlooking Green Lake. 6470 Alden Drive, Orchard Lake DESIGN-IT, INC. Custom Formica Furniture and More Ruth & Marlene Invite You To .. . RESIDENTIAL • Wall. Units • Dining Rooms • Custom Bedrooms • Credenzas • Tables • Kitchens/Baths KNIT SEPARATES 29107 Northwestern Hwy., Southfield 358.4085 COMMERCIAL • Conference Tables • Desks Reception/Secretarial • Built-In Book Units • File Cabinets • Credenzas Mon.-Fri. 10.4, Sot. 10.3 DEAL DIRECT WITH THE MANUFACTURER Free Consultation with our experienced Design Staff 24645 Halsted Rd. • Farmington Hills 54 FRIDAY, JUNE 7, 1991 471-3223 AMERICAN CANCER sociEnr Help us keep winning. ome survivors, even to this day, view the world through "Holocaust eyes." They stockpile food "just in case." They get anxious at the sight of police officers. They won't go out of the house without an extra sweater, a box of crackers or money for emergencies. And when they meet someone they might get close to, they wonder: "Can I trust this person? If a disaster were to happen, would he help me or turn me in?" A major problem for many Holocaust survivors, accor- ding to Simone Gorko, 36, a psychologist and daughter of a Holocaust survivor, is that, generally, they have never overcome their feelings enough to get on with nor- ms] lives. Those feelings include loss, fear, anger, confusion and shame. But loss may be the hardest to overcome. "In the Jewish commun- ity, when one person dies, those who cared for him im- merse themselves in mourn- ing and get support, sit shiva," Ms. Gorko said. "But how do you mourn the loss of an entire community? How do you mourn the loss not only of your loved ones, but of your home, your job or business, your identity?" There was too much to mourn, and nobody to help the survivors mourn. Nowadays, when some- thing catastrophic occurs, like the last large San Fran- cisco earthquake, teams of mental health professionals are sent in to help people ex- press their feelings, cope and get back to normal lives. No such help was available right after the Holocaust. Some survivors, depending on their outlook, were able to cope by using various sur- vival mechanisms. Ms. Gorko knows of one Auschwitz survivor who was unaware of the crematorium because she somehow managed to block out the smells and missing people. But some survivors wished to talk about what happened to them, yet found that nobody wanted to listen. Many suffered from what Margaret Eisen writes from Huntingdon Valley, Pa. is now called post-traumatic stress disorder, a condition that includes flashbacks, nightmares, emotional detachment and withdrawal from normal activities. Regardless of their level of pain, survivors generally have not gone for profes- sional help because Euro- peans of their age group thought, and still think, that therapy is only for people who are crazy, Ms. Gorko said. Also, they believe they can go it on their own be- cause they managed to sur- vive in extreme cir- cumstances. Now in their 60s, 70s and 80s, many survivors can't enjoy what they have as much as they could. "It's normal in later life to look back over your life and come to terms with it," Ms. Gorko said. "For anyone Regardless of their level of pain, survivors generally have not gone for professional help because Europeans of their age group thought, and still think, that therapy is only for people who are crazy. with unresolved grief or regrets, it's much more difficult." Instead of having pleasure and peace, many survivors are now depressed, anxious and withdrawn and have physical problems because of what's bottled up inside of them, Ms. Gorko said. "They can't enjoy what they are doing, if they're always worrying about what might happen," she said. "The pain paralyzes them from taking risks, going out, traveling." As though that weren't enough, the unresolved feel- ings of survivors have been transferred, in many cases, to their families, according to Ms. Gorko. "Their children had to replace all those people and things that were lost, but that was a burden," she said. "It led a lot of survivors to be disappointed in their chil- dren and led their children to feel inadequate." "It may now be causing N