The numbers are growing,
but the Jewish Community isn't responding.

THE HEARTBREAK

Recently, he and Robert
attended the local Simcha
Pesach Seder. Simcha is the
local Jewish group for gays
and lesbians.
"I have lots of Jewish
friends," Grant said. "But
my family is very goyish, you
know."
Robert admits his Gaelic is
a little rusty, but tries to
make up for it by par-
ticipating in Christian holi-
days like Christmas or
Easter.
However, Robert, who
speaks fluent Hebrew from
his days as a kibbutznik in
Israel, is not interested in
actually practicing Chris-
tianity.
"I find it a little too an-
tiseptic for my taste," he
said.
Grant nods in agreement,
explaining why he loves
Robert's mishpachah and
his machatanim so much.
"My family is pretty
typical of the cold, stoic Eng-
lish stereotypes," he -said.
"Robert's family is of the
more extended kind, all
these aunts and uncles,
cousins and second cousins.
Everyone is loud and affec-
tionate."
Robert and Grant think
it's important for people to
understand their willing-
ness to go on the record
about their experiences as a
gay, interfaith couple.
"AIDS has to have a face,"
Robert said. "Nobody does
this disease a favor by going
off the record, especially the
Jews."
Robert said he thinks the
reluctance for most Jews to
talk openly and honestly
about AIDS stems from a
built-in, religious and
cultural homophobia.
"We have a saying in the
gay community: I'm here.
I'm queer. Get over it."
Grant said that the sexual
component is actually a very
minor part of most
homosexual relationships.
"People make such a big
deal about what we do for a
few minutes," he said.
Robert said he feels that
the number of AIDS cases
has actually stabilized in the
gay community.
"You have to be stupid or

A

28-year-old Jewish
man lay alone and
frightened in a
Detroit hospital bed
because no Jewish — or
non-Jewish — nursing
home would admit him.
Like hundreds stricken
with Acquired Immune
Deficiency Syndrome, he
is suddenly feared.
Sometimes, he is shunn-
ed.
Andy doesn't get many
visitors, and friends say
he probably wouldn't re-
member them if they
came.
The disease that hacks
relentlessly away at An-
dy's immune system
struck a damaging blow
to his brain, resulting in a
condition known as
dementia, an early stage
of Alzheimer's disease
that causes a loss or im-
pairment of mental
powers.
Like most families scor-
ched by AIDS, Andy's is
too grief-stricken, too
overwhelmed — both
physically and emotional-
ly — to adequately care
for their son at home.
Even worse, the inner-
city nursing home that
finally admitted Andy
before pneumonia rushed
him to the hospital has
given his bed away and
now refuses to take him
back.
In desperation, Andy's
family and friends turned
to local, Jewish health
care services.
Alan Funk, director of
the Jewish Home for
Aged, said they cannot
admit young patients, nor
can they medically care
for an AIDS patient.
"According to our
bylaws, the Jewish Home
for Aged only serves the
elderly," Mr. Funk said.
"It's not called the Jewish
Home for the Chronically
Disabled."
The Jewish Home for
Aged oversees the opera-
tions of Borman Hall,
Prentis Manor and the
Fleischman Residence.
During the five years
that Mr. Funk has been

director of the Jewish
Home for Aged, he can't
recall any exceptions, he
said. "Our policy is not to
admit anyone under the
age of 65," he said. The
issue for Mr. Funk is not
about AIDS, he said.

"It's about every life
threatening illness peo-
ple, especially young peo-

following policy state-
ment: "A facility must
develop admission poli-
cies which clarify
specifically the type of
services it will provide.
However, such policies
cannot discriminate on
the basis of a handicap,
such as AIDS." Mean-
while, Andy continues to
suffer.

"This Jewish community is not
equipped to handle people with AIDS."

ple, suffer from. I'd like to
see a hospice form where
young people can go to die
in peace and dignity." Ac-
cording to Lydia Meyers,
coordinator of the service
management system for
the AIDS Consortium of
Southeastern Michigan,
these are just excuses.
She said there isn't a nur-
sing home in Oakland
County — Jewish or
Christian — that the Con-
sortium can access for
HIV-infected clients.
"We've had nursing
homes say they'll take
them, but there's a six-
month waiting list. Or
they say they'll take
them if they can private
pay for a year. But when
you have terminally ill
patients, they often don't
have six months to wait or
the kind of money it takes
to pay privately."
According to Mike Con-
nors, project coordinator
for the southeastern office
of Citizens for Better
Care, a state advocacy
group, nursing homes
that participate in
Medicid and Medicare
and discriminate against
people with the HIV virus
are in violation of the
Federal Civil Rights Law,
which provides for the
rights of handicapped
persons.
Mr. Connors said AIDS
is considered a handicapp-
ing condition.
In October 1990, the
Michigan Department of
Public Health enforced
the law and issued the

Josh, a family friend,
says Andy's often
disoriented and paranoid.
He complains of lying for
hours in soiled sheets and
of waiting endlessly for
someone to change his bed
linens.
He is often flushed, fe-
verish and very gaunt,
said Josh.
He longs to see his
parents. He doesn't re-
member that they've just
been to see him, Josh said.
Sometimes he has trouble
articulating his needs.
But Josh said that his
friend's most fervent wish
is to get out of the hospital
and be taken care of at a
Jewish nursing home.
The steel bars of that
framed hospital bed he
hated so much were, for a
while, his only salvation.
Josh said that Andy's
family last week finally

HOW TO HELP:

National Jewish
AIDS Project
2300 H St. NW
Washington, DC 200237
(202) 296-3564
AIDS Interfaith
Network
(313) 863-5700
Wellness Networks
P.O. Box 1046
Royal Oak, MI 48068
(313) 547-3783
Michigan AIDS Hotline
1-800-872-AIDS
(313) 547-9040
TDD Line (313) 547-3655
For the Hearing Impaired

found a different inner-
city nursing home to take
their son. Only now,
there's a cross hanging
above Andy's bed. "It's a
travesty that here we are
in the suburbs with our
relatively extravagant
lifestyle, sending our
problems to the inner-city
where the nursing homes
are underfunded and
understaffed," Josh said
of his friend's move.
"We as the Jewish
community must take
responsibility for our
own," he said.
However, in the last two
years, two young Jewish
men, dying of AIDS with
nowhere else to go, were
also refused admittance
by nursing homes in Oak-
land County, Mrs. Meyers
said.
"We let it go at first,"
she said, "That was in the
fall of '89, and one ended
up dying at Beaumont
Hospital. There was no
reason for him to die
there.
"Jewish and non-Jewish
nursing homes were tell-
ing us that they couldn't
take these patients be-
cause they weren't set up
for universal precau-
tions," she said. "It just
costs more to use what
they call universal
precautions. AIDS is not
the only infectious disease
nursing homes need to be
cautious of."
Mrs. Meyers said that
Citizens for Better Care
has also urged the AIDS
Consortium to file com-
plaints.
"We didn't because we
were afraid that if those
institutions were forced to
take our clients, they
would be ill-treated and
our clients would be too
uncomfortable."
The AIDS Consortium,
which began in 1985 as
the result of a city-wide
task force on AIDS, brings
together providers of
health care. Hospitals or
nursing homes that
belong receive Consor-
tium services, which in-

Continued on Page 41

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

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