SINGLE LIFE

Chivalry

Continued from preceding page

Remember

Lakin-Squire
Studio of Photography

6020 West Maple
Suite 501
West Bloomfield

CHANGING IMAGES SALON

s.

_

Chivalrous
Reading

"GRAND OPENING"

Koleen

Jackie Miles

• Nail Tech

Manicure & Pedicure
$30

Reg. $37
(Expires 6/30)

4133 Orchard Lake Road
West Bloomfield

• Stylist/Owner

$5 Off Waxing
$5 Off Any Hair Service
$20 Off Perms

Elle

• Stylist/Make Up Artist

Makeover $15

(Reg. $25)

(Expires 5/1)

$5 Off Any Hair Service
$20 Off Perms

• AVEDA PRODUCTS •

(313) 932-3926

(Expires 5/1)

APEX PHOTOGRAPHIC

Photography At Its Finest

1 - 8x10
2 - 5x7
8 Wallets

$ 39

MAGIC
MEMORIES

95

Reg. $119.95 includes sitting
NORTHRIDGE COMMONS

33523 Eight Mile Rd. E3
Livonia

1

VIDEO PHOTOGRAPHY

442-0088

Garson Zeltzer

by DAVID CITRIN

• weddings • baribot mitzvahs • sweet los

471-1235

WEDDINGS

Harriet Fried man's

BAR/BAT MITZVAHS
WILL BE

PHOTOGRAPHY

Weddings • Bar Mitzvahs • Portraits
Sport Teams • Old Photos Copied
Instant Passport Photos

25784 Middlebelt Road )

(Mid-Eleven Center)

(313) 477-4753

102

FRIDAY, MARCH 29, 1991

Farmington Hills, MI 48018

FINER

WHEN PHOTOGRAPHED BY

WINER

AND ASSOCIATES, INC.

HOME PORTRAITS

357-1010

date, and going to the front
door to pick up a date.
"Never stay in the car and
beep the horn," he said.
For him, such behavior is
more a product of upbring-
ing than conscious thought.
"I was brought up in such
a way that it's second na-
ture," said the attorney.
Once out with a woman
who did not see things his
way, he was asked to tone
down the politeness.
"I told her that even if I
promised you I would not do
these things I would do
them simply without think-
ing about them," he recalled.
Although the relationship
did not progress, his convic-
tions remain steadfast. And
those convictions seem to be
welcomed by women of all
ages.
"I still believe and like to
think that there is a knight
on a white horse," said 48-
year-old Beverly Katz. A man
should hold open a door and
help a woman on with her
coat, she added.
"I don't think there is
such a thing as overdoing it
or underdoing it," said Ms.

While the rules on chiv-
alry will always give rise
to discussion and re-
interpretation among the
sexes, guidelines are of-
fered by well-known and
relatively obscure com-
mentators.
lb brush up on the skills,
manners and rules of
chivalry, try some of these
titles:
Charlotte Ford's Book
of Modern Manners by
Charlotte Ford; 1980, Si-
mon and Schuster.
The New Etiquette by
Marjabelle Young Stew-
ard; 1987, St. Martin's
Press, Inc.
Miss Manners' Guide
To Excruciatingly Cor-
rect Behavior by Judith
Martin; 1982, Atheneum_
Miss Manners' Guide
For The Turn Of The
Millenium by Judith
Martin; 1989, Pharos
Books.
For a grounding of how
chivalry itself evolved,
try :
The Knight & Chivalry
by Richard Barber; 1970,
Charles Scribner's Sons.
And if those titles are
still not enough, try your
friends. They will certain-
ly have their own opin-
ions. ❑
— Neil Rubin

Katz, an office manager for a
physician. "It's everyone's
own taste."
Likewise, Fayne Hacks does
not pass final judgment on a
person who is not her knight
in shining armor.
"If somebody doesn't
open the door for me, I don't
start throwing a tantrum,"
says the 24-year-old college
student.
But there is a time when
overdoing the politeness
frustrates women and is in-
terpreted as condescending,
Ms. Hacks said.
"One time a person was
trying to wait on me hand
and foot, trying to impress
me," she recalled. "I said,
`Would you sit down here?
You're worse than my
grandmother.' It was mak-
ing me a nervous wreck."
Arthur Sindler, a retired
city court clerk, speaks for a
senior generation of single
adults.
The 79-year-old widower
said there are formal rules to
the dating game — ones that
his peers of the opposite sex
agree to.
"If I were taking a strang-
er out, and if she would say
yes, I would say, 'All right,
I'll pick you up at so and
so,' " he said. "And I would
take her out to dinner and to
a show, and then home.
Then I'd say thank you for a
pleasant evening."
And he laments the pass-
ing of certain chivalrous
norms.
"When I was young and
didn't have a car and rode
the bus, if the lady was
standing up and I was sit-
ting down, I would offer her
my seat. I would tip my
hat," he recalled.
"There's nothing wrong
with that," he added. "It's
just the way things are."
On the other end of the
age spectrum is Brian
Snyder, a 17-year-old junior in
high school. He said he likes
to let his dates call the shots.
"I always do what she
wants to do," Mr. Snyder
explained. "If she says, 'I
want to go to a movie,' then
I'll always let her pick it."
When all's said and done,
it seems that chivalry is not
only alive and well, but a
welcome component of the
dating scene.
"Chivalry is basically a
name for some very old-
fashioned ideas which are
still valid," said Flo Fried-
man, a self-avowed
"women's libber" in her 50s.
"You gauge the people
that you're with and the sit-
uation that you're in," Ms.
Friedman said. "It's never
outdated to be courteous,
which is what chivalry is." ❑