OVERCOMING THE STIGMA F or centuries, Jews have proudly called them- selves "The People of the Book." But what happens when young Aaron can't read the book because he has a learning disability or other handicap? According to several parents and professionals, many Jewish families con- sider any disability a shanda (shame) that must be hidden to avoid a potentially damag- ing label. Dr. Hillel Rosenfeld is a strong advocate of identifying a psychological denial among many parents, who feel that their child may be regarded as a less valuable member of a community that places lear- ning and scholarship above all other pursuits. He said that some parents try to cope by denying that a problem even exists. "We're concerned about that popula- tion, since that kind of coping is destructive," he said. Some of the family anxiety comes from the Jewish con- cept of yichis, the idea that an individual is marrying not Working with Rabbi Eric Greenbaum, Yudi studies the Bible. and helping learning disabl- ed children. He also recognizes the dilemma. "It's painful for families to reconcile that their child has academic problems," he said. "There are concerns that if they do acknowledge the pro- blem, the child will be label- ed and there is a stigma." Dr. Rosenfeld says there is only a prospective bride or bridegroom, but that person's family as well. If one member of the family is identified as having a handicap, how will that affect the marriageabili- ty of not only that person, but his brothers and sisters? Oak Park shadchan (match- maker) Ada Moseson says, in her experience, this has never interfered with a prospective shiddach, or match. Ibrah scholars agree that there is certainly no basis in Halachah (Jewish law) for such prejudice, but some members of the Orthodox community insist that it ex- ists nonetheless. Shayndee Lasson of Oak Park is one of those people. Mrs. Lasson has two sisters living in the New York area, one of whom has Down's Syndrome. Although she "couldn't prove anything" she believes her sister's condition has scared several potential mates away from her other sister. Bracha and Michael Hochheiser agree. They are the parents of Yudi, 11, and Yossie, 8, both of whom have been enrolled in P'tach since kindergarten. The Hochhei- sers are among a rare group of parents who openly dis- cuss their children's pro- blems as well as their successes. Mrs. Hochheiser recalls the time her husband mentioned the boys' learning problems during a speech he gave at a fund-raising chimer. "People were aghast that he would admit it," she said. "But we've never been embar- rassed. They're, good, sweet kids ā€” not perfect, but they're succeeding." Leslie Eller, a special educa- tion teacher in Pontiac and the mother of a child with mild learning disabilities, believes that a stigma does in- deed exist, and that education is the key to its banishment. "Most of our LD (learning disabled) population gets punished in various ways because it's so misunder- stood," she said. "The parents of children with special needs have a strong need to have the community understand their children." Dr. Rosenfeld agrees. "There's a sadly neglected population of kids that could have better educational out- comes if they had more ap- propriate intervention," he said. ā‘ Temperature in Hawaii- 83 and Sunny! We want you to find out for sure. Just Buy a phone from Mobiltronics/Drive-In Cellular OR Activate with Cellnet Cellular Service OR Refer two friends who buy or activate and go to Hawaii !* MOBIIIRONICS DRII/Eā€¢1111 CELLULAR Panasonic CM 500 Featuring the Farmington Hills Madison Heights 32825 Northwestern Hwy. (Just S. of 14 Mile Rd.) 31075 John R (Just N. of 13 Mile Rd.) 626-8480 585-4520 We offer Ameritech Mobile Communications Birmingham 1532 S. Woodward (Between 14 & Lincoln) 645-8181 AMERITECH I MOBILE COliMUNICAT1ONS *Minimum seven nights accornodations to be made through Islands International at the standard published rates. Phone purchases require Cellnet Activation. ACIELLIPI Now You Can Cut The Cost Of Cleaning FREE 3-WAY CLEANERS ONE PLAIN SWEATER CLEANED & PRESSED WHEN PRESENTED WITH ANY $5.95 INCOMING DRY CLEANING ORDER Coupon must be surrendered when Leaving order for processing. Not good with any other offers. EXP 3-29-91 25274 GREENFIELD 28861 SOUTHFIELD RD. 30008 W. 12 MILE RD. IN THE ROYAL PLAZA NORTH OF 1-696 WEST OF MIDDI FRELT JUST SOUTH OF 1-696 LATHRUP VILLAGE FARMINGTON HILLS 967-4344 559-2626 626-0990 MR. ,AILANN West Bloomfield On The Boardwalk Orchard Lake Road South Maple 626-3362 Birmingham NEW LOCATION! 136 N. Woodward North of Maple 647-0550 Southfield The Original" New Orleans Mall 10 Mile & Greenfield 559-7818 Dearborn 15219 Mich. Ave. One Block East of Greenfield 584-3820 SPORT CONNECTION SPORT CONNECTION SPORT CONNECTION 6895 Orchard Lk. Rd. South of Maple 626-2117 New Orleans Mall 10 Mile & Greenfield 559-7150 15219 Mich. Ave. 1 Bk. E. of Greenfield 584-3820 THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS 47