OVERCOMING THE
STIGMA
F
or centuries, Jews have
proudly called them-
selves "The People of the
Book." But what happens
when young Aaron can't read
the book because he has a
learning disability or other
handicap?
According to several
parents and professionals,
many Jewish families con-
sider any disability a shanda
(shame) that must be hidden
to avoid a potentially damag-
ing label.
Dr. Hillel Rosenfeld is a
strong advocate of identifying
a psychological denial among
many parents, who feel that
their child may be regarded
as a less valuable member of
a community that places lear-
ning and scholarship above
all other pursuits.
He said that some parents
try to cope by denying that a
problem even exists. "We're
concerned about that popula-
tion, since that kind of coping
is destructive," he said.
Some of the family anxiety
comes from the Jewish con-
cept of yichis, the idea that an
individual is marrying not
Working with Rabbi Eric
Greenbaum, Yudi
studies the Bible.
and helping learning disabl-
ed children. He also
recognizes the dilemma.
"It's painful for families to
reconcile that their child has
academic problems," he said.
"There are concerns that if
they do acknowledge the pro-
blem, the child will be label-
ed and there is a stigma."
Dr. Rosenfeld says there is
only a prospective bride or
bridegroom, but that person's
family as well. If one member
of the family is identified as
having a handicap, how will
that affect the marriageabili-
ty of not only that person, but
his brothers and sisters?
Oak Park shadchan (match-
maker) Ada Moseson says, in
her experience, this has never
interfered with a prospective
shiddach, or match.
Ibrah scholars agree that
there is certainly no basis in
Halachah (Jewish law) for
such prejudice, but some
members of the Orthodox
community insist that it ex-
ists nonetheless.
Shayndee Lasson of Oak
Park is one of those people.
Mrs. Lasson has two sisters
living in the New York area,
one of whom has Down's
Syndrome. Although she
"couldn't prove anything" she
believes her sister's condition
has scared several potential
mates away from her other
sister.
Bracha and Michael
Hochheiser agree. They are
the parents of Yudi, 11, and
Yossie, 8, both of whom have
been enrolled in P'tach since
kindergarten. The Hochhei-
sers are among a rare group
of parents who openly dis-
cuss their children's pro-
blems as well as their
successes.
Mrs. Hochheiser recalls the
time her husband mentioned
the boys' learning problems
during a speech he gave at a
fund-raising chimer.
"People were aghast that he
would admit it," she said.
"But we've never been embar-
rassed. They're, good, sweet
kids ā not perfect, but they're
succeeding."
Leslie Eller, a special educa-
tion teacher in Pontiac and
the mother of a child with
mild learning disabilities,
believes that a stigma does in-
deed exist, and that education
is the key to its banishment.
"Most of our LD (learning
disabled) population gets
punished in various ways
because it's so misunder-
stood," she said. "The parents
of children with special needs
have a strong need to have
the community understand
their children."
Dr. Rosenfeld agrees.
"There's a sadly neglected
population of kids that could
have better educational out-
comes if they had more ap-
propriate intervention," he
said. ā
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THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
47