THE JEWISH NEWS

MARCH 15, 1991

A Toast
To Jewish Living

Opening Our Hearts, Minds To The Child Unable To Ask

Seder Inspires
Freedom For All

No Questions
Go Unanswered

By RABBI BRUCE D. AFT

By RONELLE ROSENTHAL GRIER

Each year as we gather for our
Pesach seder, we recite the
passage "In every generation, each
Jew should regard himself or herself
as though he or she personally
went forth from Egypt."
The seder represents an
opportunity for us to tell the ancient
story of freedom. Each generation
has an opportunity to relive the
ancient drama and to learn for itself
the meaning of being liberated from
slavery.
The story provides us an
opportunity to reconnect with the
past and to reaffirm our hope in a
world which can be free. We pledge
ourselves to join those before us
who have struggled for freedom so
that our generation of Jews may live
with pride and dignity. We recall
that we are free but other Jews are
not. We eat horseradish to remind
us of our ancestors' bitter lives in
Egypt. As we taste the bitterness,
we begin to empathize with the
reality of human bondage. We begin
to feel the suffering of those who
went before us. We continue to
recite that until every Jewish person
is free, our freedom is incomplete.
The seder inspires us to do
everything we can to emancipate
those who still do not enjoy
freedom.
We ask a number of questions
as we try to retell the story so that
everyone can understand. One of
the most beautiful sections of the
seder is the tale of the four
children. In this story which is a
midrash, we learn of a wise child, a
wicked child, a simple child, and
one who does not know how to ask.
In the Torah, there are four
verses which speak about children

My earliest Passover memories
include gathering around my
grandparents' dining room table,
reading in the Haggadah about the
four sons: the one who was wise,
the one who was contrary, the
"simple" son, and the one who did
not even know how to ask a
question.
Although I had heard the story
many times before, it is only
recently that I came to appreciate
the underlying wisdom of this
seemingly simple tale. In
uncomplicated words written long
ago, the Torah gives us much of the
same advice touted by modern day
child development experts: Treat
each child according to his needs
and abilities; without judgment,
criticism or disappointment.
According to the Haggadah, we
are to answer the wise son with a
complete explanation of the
Passover laws, down to the very last
detail. To the contrary son, who
asks, "What does this service mean
to you?" we are instructed to
explain what the Eternal did for us,
since the contrary son has excluded
himself by his question.
The simple son, who asks only,
"What is this?" shall receive a
simple explanation befitting his
question and his ability to
understand. And, for the son who
does not even know how to ask, we
are directed to begin for him, not to
judge him or assume that his
silence means he does not wish to
know.
Contemporary psychology offers
many explanations for the different
sons in the Passover story. Today
we understand that many children
cannot communicate their real
Continued on Page L-2

Continued on Page L-2