Hava Nedeber Ivrit: Feeling Comfortable With Ruth By NIRA LEV Nira Lev is associate professor of Hebrew language and literature at the Midrasha College of Jewish Studies. Kol Pesach, when we sit at shulchan ha'seder reading in the Haggadah about the arba-ah banim, I recall the night of the seder when we first met Ruth (not her real name). Ruth became our krovah when her achot married into our mishpacha. We were told that Ruth, who was twelve years old at the time, was be'emet like a three- year-old developmentally. "Ruth me'fageret," we were told. We asked no she'elot about Ruth. Her horim and her achot, our new krovah, were open and comfortable with this noseh. We were the ones who had a be'aya, who did not feel comfortable. The p'geesha with Ruth was a total hafta'ah. She was yalda n'eema, smecha and me'numeset who was comfortable with all the anashim zarim that she met, and who had perfect nimmusim. Our three-year-old ben became her best chaver and both were "ge'im and sme'chim to ask the "arba kusheeyot" together. That seder was the hatchala of ye'chasim me'yuchadim and chaverut krova with Ruth and her mishpascha. On the night of that seder rishon we did not yet know the whole seepur about Ruth. Only later did we learn that ka'asher Ruth nolda, her horim were advised to leave her in beit-ha- cholim until they can find mosad mat'eem for "yeladim me'fagrim kasheh" (that is how she was diagnosed). Her horim, who had an older bat home, consulted several rof'eem, who repeated the same hamlatza: "Do not take her home! This tinoket will never walk, talk or be capable of understanding or caring who raised her. Taking her habaytah will be unfair to her achot and to you." Ruth was lucky. Her horim were akshanim — as the rof'eem described them — and decided to raise her ba'bayit, with her older achot and refused to believe the doctors' diagnosis. Ruth became merkaz ha'chayim of the mishpacha. They never "hid" her. She was included in all their activities. They all devoted sha'ot rabot to teach her and train her. Their chayim was not easy, but ha'yom Ruth ne'suah to a gever like her. They live on a kibbutz, they both work at simple jobs and kol pa'am when we meet them in Israel we are surprised at what they can do and understand. Yes, they are L 10 - FRIDAY, MARCH 15, 1991 anashim me'yuchadim and the meser of their seepur is clear and encouraging. Meelon (Dictionary) kol Pesach shulchan arba'ah krovah karov achot mishpacha be'emet me'fageret me'fager she'elot she'ela horim noseh be'aya p'geesha hafta'ah every Passover a table four relative (female) relative (male) sister family really retarded (feminine) retarede (masculine) questions question parents subject problem meeting surprise girl pleasant happy polite people strangers manners son friend proud (plural) proud (singular) happy (plural) the four seder questions beginning hatchala relations ye'chasim special (plural) me'yuchadim chaverut friendship close (feminine) krova rishon first story seepur ka'asher when nolda was born (feminine) nolad was born (masculine) beit- ha'cholim the hospital yalda n'eema smecha me'numeset anashim zarim nimmusim ben chaver ge'im ge'eh sme'chim arba kusheeyot institution mosad suitable mat-eem children yeladim retarded (plural) mefagrim severe, hard, difficult kasheh daughter bat doctors rof'seem doctor rofeh recommendation hamlatza baby girl tinoket (to) home habaytah stubborn (plural) akshanim stubborn (singular) akshan at home ba'bayit center merkaz (the) life ha'chayim many hours sha'ot rabot today ha'yom married (femine) ne'suah man gever every time kol pa'am special anashim me'yuchadim people message meser story seepur Keshet Camping Program Assists Special Families By GERARD W. KAYE "I have set my bow in the clouds, and it shall serve as a sign of the covenant between Me and the earth." — Gen. 9,14. With these words, God created yet another notion of responsibility. When you see children afflicted, covenant becomes questionable. The all too often asked "What is it that God wants when babies are born disabled" can only be "As important as the program is for the disabled youngsters, it is no less so for their parents and siblings who rarely have the opportunity for a simple family vacation." understood in the context of our role in the continued creation of the world. It is in this light that the Keshet Family Kallah at Olin-Sang-Ruby Union Institute was created. Keshet, the organization, is a two hundred member support group for Jewish families with disabled children, children whose disabilities range from serious to multiple to profound. Combining the commitment of high school students from the Chicago and Northern Federations of Temple Youth with the clear need of these families for both respite and the informal environment inherent in camp, Union Institute became the site for a three day Kallah jointly undertaken with Keshet. Between 10 and 12 families come to Union Institute in Oconomowoc, Wis., each August where they meet over 30 volunteer teens who will work with their children. In addition, college students and occupational and physical therapy professionals join together with the Camp staff to create this unique venture. As important as this program is for the disabled youngsters themselves, it is no less so for their parents and siblings who rarely have the opportunity for a simple family vacation. This Kallah plays that role for many. The elements of the Kallah itself center around a variety of activities including a heavy recreational emphasis on waterfront, sports and horseback riding. These activities are available to the Keshet kids themselves along with their siblings and parents. No activity is excluded for any child because of their disability. Parental involvement is among the most difficult aspects of the Keshet Family Kallah since most parents of the profoundly disabled have rarely had the chance for anyone else to take care of their children. Great care and sensitivity must be extended to the parents as a result. For this reason, among others, there are two volunteer teens for every Keshet camper and a team of professional staff behind the teen-agers providing them with both guidance and emotional support. The teens sleep with the Keshet kids as they do with their siblings. Parents, therefore, are allowed to sleep alone and usually undisturbed. Who benefits most from this program? Clearly, the families who participate derive a great deal of enjoyment and relaxation as well as a sense of "normalcy." But the greatest recipients from the experience are first the volunteer teens and secondly those who are not even in attendance but come to learn that it is possible to provide such experiences for disabled children and their families in a familiar environment. But now, of course, for you. Keshet Family Kallah also exists for you in order to remind us all of the bow placed by God in the clouds. Keshet, the Hebrew for rainbow, exists to remind us all that we are responsible as well for this covenant between humankind and God and that these children are placed on earth in our trust in order that we may celebrate the continued mitzvah of finishing the work of Creation. Gerry Kaye is director of the Olin- Sang-Ruby Institute in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin. For additional information about the Keshet Family Kallah, please contact Mr. Kaye at 100 W. Monroe Street, Chicago, Illinois, 60603.