Being Special In The Eyes Of God

By DAN GROSSMAN and
JOEL GRISHAVER

The Cast:
Narrator
Isaac — A blind old man
Jacob — A middle-aged man
limping on a crutch
Moses — An aging man with
a speech problem
Aaron — A priest who serves as
nurse and receptionist at
Mishkan Medical Group
A Stranger
The Seeing Eye Sheep
Narrator: Once in the land of
Agadah, three of the patriarchs went
to the Mishkan Medical Group, each
in order to deal with a personal
problem.
The first to head for the
doctor's office was Isaac, a blind old
man. Isaac was being led by his
seeing eye sheep.
Isaac: Come on old girl, you
should know the way. Eyyy (HE
SCREAMS IN PAIN)! (ANNOYED
BUT NOT ANGRY) I wish you would
stop doing that. Leading me into low
hanging branches just isn't nice.
You know that I can't duck under
things the way you can. Come on,
let's get going.

Sheep: BA'A'A.
Isaac: That's a good girl.
Narrator: Next to leave for the
doctor's was Moses. As you may
remember, Moses had a speech
problem.
Stranger: Excuse me, Mister,
could you tell me how I find my way
to the Oak at Mamre?
Moses: W'W'W'W'W'ell y'y'y'ya
j'j'j — just go down here f'f'f'f'for a
c'c'c'c'c'...
Stranger: Come on, I just want
the directions — I'm lost.
Moses: I'm t't't't't'trying
t't't't'to...
Stranger: Stop fooling around
— I'm a stranger. Didn't you ever
learn that Moses taught us to be
kind to the stranger? Just tell me
where to go.
Moses: J'J'J'J'J'J...ust relax,
I'm'm'm...
Stranger: What are you, dumb
or something? Never mind, I'll find
my own way.
Moses: (SADLY) He
w'w'w'wouldn't even ITet me help
him.
Narrator: The last to leave for
the Mishkan Medical Group was
Jacob. After wrestling with the
angel, Jacob walked with a crutch.
Outside the Mishkan Medical Group

L 8

-

FRIDAY, MARCH 15, 1991

— Jacob looks up the long flight of
steps to the high place.
Jacob: (WITH ANGER) You'd
think someone would have
considered putting in a ramp. They
build ramps for the priest to walk up
the altar, but to get to the ramp,
they make me climb steps. Some
God wrestler — stopped by a few
steps. Come on — put it in gear
and start climbing.
Narrator: Meanwhile, at the
offices of Mishkan Medical, Aaron

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the priest, nurse, and receptionist
was cleaning the outer office.
Aaron: (SINGS) "When I was a
lad I served a term, as office boy in
an attorney's firm. I scrubbed the
windows and I washed the floor.

And I polished up the handle on the
big brass door."
Narrator: The door opens...
Aaron: Why, Mr. Isaac, welcome
to Mishkan Medical. Don't worry
about your seeing eye sheep...
Narrator: The door opens
again...
Jacob: Damn flight of stairs!
Nurse, is the Doctor ready to see
me? Last time you kept me waiting
for over an hour.
Aaron: Just relax, Mr. Jacob,
the Doctor will see you as soon as
possible. You know how busy the
Doctor can be — with a whole world
to take care of...
Jacob: I don't like to be kept
waiting. Fourteen years in Padan
Aram was more than enough
waiting for me.
Aaron: Just go into the waiting
room and sit down — the Doctor
will see you soon.
Narrator: The door opens for a
third time...
Aaron: Why, hello, Mr. Moses,
how are you doing today...
Moses: (DEJECTED) Yes's'sm.
Sheep: BA'A'A'A
Aaron: Why, Mr. Isaac, we've
forgotten all about you. We can't do
a thing like that. Let me lead you
this way. Now, here's your chair...
Good, let me put your feet up and
fix the pillow. We'll make you nice
and comfy — until the Doctor can

see you. Just you relax. You know,
that's really a cute sheep you have
there.
Sheep: BA'A'A'A
Narrator: Nurse Aaron left the
three in the waiting room and went
back to his work.

Jacob: So here we are in the
waiting room — God's chosen — a
gimp, a mumbling prophet and a
blind old man. Is this any way to
treat a patriarch?
Moses: Relax — G'G'od knows
that we're here. Isaac, old man,
h'h'h'ow are you doing?
Isaac: (FLATLY AND QUIETLY)
I'm blind.

Jacob: Damn leg. Why did I
have to get in that fight?
Moses: W'W'hat's your
problem?
Jacob: Big man, famous
patriarch. Great person — the
wheeler-dealer. I spend my whole
life running con-games and wind up
an old gimp. Look where all my
deals landed me.

Isaac: (WITH BUILDING
ENERGY) You didn't do it. God did
it to all of us. God controls
everything. God dominated my
father's life — almost had the old
man slaughter me. God has made
me blind. God made Jacob lame —
after all, his new name "Yisrael —
the God wrestler," even has God