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Moshe Waldoks
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Comedian / Story Teller
Author of Big Book of Jewish Humor
Saturday, March 9th,
8:00 p.m.
Admission: $6.00
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Saturday, March 23rd
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••‘ These programs are funded in part by Michigan
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Charach Endowment Fund at the Center.
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AMERICAN
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Help us keep winning.
26
FRIDAY, MARCH 8, 1991
Divorce
Continued from Page 24
reluctant to write a check to
the Allied Jewish Campaign
for the first time.
"It's a feeling that the
Jewish system has let them
down," he said. "They feel
that if the system doesn't
work for them, they're not
going to help the system."
Leah Ann Kleinfeldt, asso-
ciate director of the Jewish
Community Center, was
divorced three years ago.
The breakup of her 16-year
marriage forced her to make
adjustments on several
fronts. She said that perhaps
the most visible, the most
symbolic, happens on Shab-
bat when her two daughters
say the Kiddush in place of
her former husband.
But the more profound
symbolism came from the si-
lence she experienced from
the rest of the Jewish com-
munity, she said. It was a si-
lence that cut her off.
"I would have appreciated
a phone call, a hello," she
said. "I didn't want to tell
anyone my problems; I just
wanted to hear someone
else's voice. There was such
a void.
"Support systems for
divorced people are miss-
ing," she said. "People just
don't want to talk about it. I
think people who are your
friends get scared."
Businessman Mitchell
Porvin said that divorce
happens when both spouses
give up trying to solve their
problems. After a divorce, a
person is immediately plac-
ed in an uncharted dimen-
sion of trying to figure out
who one's friends are, he
said.
"What I found to be
strange is that my wife and I
had groups of friends during
our marriage," Mr. Porvin
said. "Friends side with one
side; they don't side with
both.
The most difficult part of
the split usually involves the
couple's children. Mr.
Selesny said that among the
first pieces of advice he gives
a couple is to bring the en-
tire family together and
assure the children they are
still loved, though the
parents have fallen out of
love.
Children mourn the death
of the marriage and of their
family life with their own in-
tensity. Children will often
fantasize that mommy and
daddy will one day get back
together. Oftentimes, an
older child is instantly plac-
ed in a position of respon-
sibility, be it babysitting or
preparing dinner or unlock-
ing the front door after
school.
Like many other Jewish
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