DIVORCE

GIVING THE GET

abbi Elimelich Goldberg tells a
story about how he picketed a Los
Angeles synagogue that was honor-
ing one of its members.
The synagogue honoree that evening had
refused to give his wife a get, a Jew-
ish writ of divorce. Rabbi Goldberg want-
ed everyone to know about it.
Unfortunately, according to the Young
Israel Southfield rabbi, knowledge about
gittin does not necessarily transcend the
branches of Judaism. A recent Council of
Jewish Federations study showed that of
800,000 Jewish American divorces, only
113,000, or 14 percent, involved a get.
A get is described in Deuteronomy 24:1
which reads, "And he writes her a bill of
divorcement, hands it to her and sends
her away from his house."
In this case, the bill of divorcement is
about a 12-line statement that essentially
disbands the marriage. The get means
that the wife is thereby free to marry.
Without receiving a get from a beit din
rabbinical court, the wife is considered an
agunah, or a chained woman.
Children of a second marriage where a
get was not received are considered
mamzerim or people who are forbidden to
marry other Jews.
Over the years, giving a get has become
an issue of extreme controversy. There
are many cases where a husband will
refuse, usually out of revenge, to give a
get unless he is paid huge sums of money. r
"The implications of not giving a get ,,,
i C
,._,,,
are extreme," Rabbi Goldberg said. e Q--,--
"Without a get, they can't get married ac- 4
cording to Halachah (Jewish law). Our jobl'
as rabbis and as a community is to pro-
mote giving the get in a tasteful way.
We've been in touch with divorce at-
torneys and with judges, and we find that
the word is getting out more and more.
Still, we find that people who are ex-
tremely secular take it with a grain of ',....,
salt."

Of 800,000

Jewish

divorces,

only 14

percent

"The implications of not
giving a get are extreme."

Rabbi Goldberg

involved a

Rabbi Norman Roman of Temple Kol t:
Ami said that a significant majority of
Reform Jews do not give a get. On the
other hand, he said, more Reform rabbis
are now encouraging it.
"We have to do more teaching about the
get," he said. "But I'm finding that more
people are interested in learning about it,
and we're encouraging that."
Rabbi David Nelson of Beth Shalom
said that more and more Conservative
Jews are inquiring about a get. He said
even in divorce, Jews are interested in
traditional practices. In Detroit, the Con-
servative movement has its own beit din

and delivers its own gittin. Reform rabbis
refer interested couples to either the Or-
thodox or the Conservative beit din. Con-
servative rabbis require a get for a
divorce while Reform rabbis, generally,
do not. Divorce attorney Abraham
Selseny points out that Oakland County
judges have been supportive in the re-
quirement of a get in a divorce case. The
judges, he said, view the get as part of the
woman's right of property.
Depriving a woman of a get, he said, is
now being interpreted as a deprivation of
a woman's rights.
Mr. Selesny added, however, that a
judge can insist on a get, but cannot force
a man to give a get. Gittin have never been

get.

tested on an appeals court level because
they get involved with church and state
issues.
"I think people don't understand how
easy it is to get a get," Mr. Selesny said.
"All they have to do is call the Council of
Orthodox Rabbis and they will convene a
beit din (rabbinical court) to grant the get.
Some people think it's some hocus-pocus,
but it's very simple. But it can't be ig-
nored, it must be carried through."
Robin and her ex-husband Daniel had
little trouble carrying through the get
process. She said that she feared that her
get would be held up by what was turning
into a bitter civil divorce. But she
said that Daniel saw the get as something
more sacred than the civil process, and so
he gave it to her within three weeks of
their decision to split.
"It was very emotional," Robin said. "It
was a much more emotional issue than
my civil divorce. The civil divorce was
paperwork, the get was spiritual. It
brought back memories of standing under
the chuppah. The civil divorce is such a
long process that you are relieved when it
is over. The get is right there. You go to
the rabbi's study and it's all done. I cried
when he handed it to me. He had tears in
his eyes also. You are going through
memory lane. You leave the room with a
feeling of emptiness in your heart."
In the Detroit area, those seeking a get
from an Orthodox rabbi should call Rabbi
Leizer Levin at 557-6828. Conservative
Jews needing more information can call
Rabbi David Nelson at 547-7970. Reform
Jews can call their pulpit rabbi for infor-
mation.

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

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