happening with parents when kids get
married," Dr. Rosenberg says.
If a parent's life is full and satisfy-
ing, however, the feelings of letdown
should pass quickly, according to Dr.
Rosenberg.
Feelings of loss among parents are
probably not as strong today as in
previous years, according to Dr.
Gershenfeld. Since children typically
live on their own before marrying
these days, parents have had time to
adjust to an emptier house.
"It's not like it used to be, when a
child went straight from her mother's
house to her husband's house," Dr.
Gershenfeld notes. "There isn't a
sense that your little girl is moving
out because she's already moved
out."
Indeed, several parents denied
feeling any sense of loss when their
children married. Instead, they re-
ported their major emotion as one of
relief.
"You worry about your children all
the time, but it's different when they
have a spouse," says Dovey Kahn, a
Baltimore mother whose two sons
were married this year. "There's a
feeling that someone else is there to
worry about them, love them, care for
them."
Sandy E. agrees. After her
daughter's marriage last fall, Sandy
waited until she and her new spouse
had returned from their honeymoon,
then mailed her "everything she had
left in our house, including her tax
records."
"I feel that marriage gives (my
daughter) an enormous amount of
flexibility — flexibility to leave her job
if she's unhappy at it, for instance —
and at the same time relieves us of
the responsibility of supporting her,"
Sandy says.
"The parent might feel freer, and
feel that they don't have to worry as
much, if their child is 'safely
married,' " Dr. Kaslow says. "Marriage
can give them a chance to go off and
do what they want to do."
This sense of relief might be espec-
ially prevalent for parents of the bride,
according to Dr. Gershenfeld. Since
many professional women are having
difficulty finding spouses these days,
parents of women who are in their
late twenties and early thirties are
usually thrilled when their daughter
announces an engagement — even if

ristorante

V

La cucina classica

Elegant occasions held in our new
`European Garden Room' with access to
outside patio for appetizers and cocktails . . . or
private Fireside Room for your smaller parties

Let our detailed professional staff assist you
with your bridal, shower or rehearsal plans

474-3033

30715 West Ten Mile Road • Farmington Hills

•
Custom Catering
For All
Affairs
With A
Touch
Of
Elegance

•
•
•
•
•
•
•

Weddings
Bar & Bat Mitzvahs
Showers
Wedding Rehearsals
Open Houses •
Receptions
All Occasions

•

Our

t Fro

:a teg

I

Ore

ts

it..'.s • Fioest.

Vineyard's Cafe

Taste Of Seasons

855-9463

737-5190

32415 Northwestern Hwy.
Between 14 Mile & Middlebelt

32839 Northwestern Hwy.
Between 14 Mile & Middiebelt

The Jewish News

69