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Seventeen Wonderful Years of Experience from the Traditional to the "Glitz"

• Bar/Bat Mitzvahs
• Weddings
• CALLIGRAPHY • Sweet 16s
• HEBREW CALLIGRAPHY
• Showers

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Debbie Goldfine Weisserman

(313) 569-9792 • Tower 14, Southfield

68

Brides 1991

for the parents, Rabbi Saltzman says.
Parents may feel that they are losing
a son, rather than gaining a daughter,
or vice versa.
Feelings of loss can be rather
common among parents whose
children are marrying, according to
Dr. Florence Kaslow, a psychologist
and family therapist who directs the
Florida Couple and Family Institute
in West Palm Beach. Parents gener-
ally know that they won't see their
children as much after they marry, Dr.
Kaslow states. Even if the parents like
the in-law child, there's "still a deep
knowledge that the kid won't live at
home again, if he lived at home, or
won't come to visit as often," she says.
Psychologist Leon Rosenberg, a
faculty member of Johns Hopkins
School of Medicine and a national
expert on family relationships, notes
that marriage often triggers
recognition that a child is now truly
an adult. "There can be a sense that

Stress is probably the
most common emotion
experienced by parents of
engaged children.

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Continued from Page 22

'I lost something' — the play, the
roughhousing, having a little kid who
comes to sit on your knee," Dr.
Rosenberg says. "Instead, you have
grown people, who are not auto-
matically available for you."
This sense of loss might contribute
to a feeling of letdown many parents
experience once the wedding is over.
As Dr. Rosenberg says, "You build up
to this huge event, and then your kids
leave, and they don't include you
anymore. They're the ones who go on
the honeymoon, and who are build-
ing the relationship, not you. So it's
normal for people to feel a sense of
letdown."
Extremely strong feelings of
letdown can indicate that a parent is
overly involved in his or her child's
life as an escape from an unsatisfying
marriage, Dr. Rosenberg says. The
feelings might lead a parent to take
action with regard to his or her own
relationship.
Indeed, "you see some divorces