■ BY CAROL SORGEN hey've become engaged and you want to help them celebrate. Tradi- that tionally, means engage- ment parties and bridal showers but today's festivities are anything but traditional. Years ago, an engagement party, usually given by the bride-to-be's family, was considered a formal an- nouncement of the couple's intention to wed. But, says Dee Dee Hoffman of Party Design, a planning service in Farmington Hills, "We don't see as many engagement parties as we once did. People are having novelty showers in lieu of engagement parties." In 1991 parties are costly and if there is an elaborate wedding, most families can't afford to do both. Plus, the engagement party should not outshine the wedding itself." If you do decide to throw an en- gagement party, most caterers note that informality is best and that the Today's engagement parties and showers for the bridal couple are informal and fun. the couple and not just for the bride. "These showers are usually thrown at night," says Ms. Hoffman, "and have more of a party atmosphere. Many couples receive his and her gifts such as bath robes or sexy, matching lingerie. Suggestions for co-ed showers party should serve as an icebreaker include a barbecue, perhaps in a for the families and friends of the rented barn, or a make-it-yourself couple to get to know each other. A sandwich buffet, followed by croquet cocktail party with unusual hors or badminton. Volleyball and a picnic d'oeuvres such as Cajun or Japanese on the beach is another shower idea fare will provide an interesting twist. that appeals to both men and Bridal showers are still standardly women. Although most showers are still given, although even these usually have a new angle. Innovative themes, given in someone's home, other locations, refreshments and a not-for- suggested locales include an women-only guest list have brought excursion on a dinner cruise boat, an the traditional shower into the '90s. evening catered on the rooftop of a The only rule that still seems to downtown building, or a romantic hold fast is that the shower should not ride on a railroad dining car. For a ladies-only shower, the be thrown by a member of the family. "That makes it look like you're asking traditional luncheon can give way to for another gift," says one party a tea party or a dessert party, planner. One alternative, she accompanied by classical music in suggests, is for the bridesmaids to the background and simple but elegant fare such as scones and jointly throw a shower. According to Ms. Hoffman, more cream, smoked fish on walnut bread, and more showers are being given for madeleines, kiwi tarts and raspberries The Jewish News 57