Family Matters

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The Finest Expression of Love

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Fine Jewelers
Established 1919

Phone 642-5575
30400 Telegraph Rd., Suite 134
St it; " " 4
Birmingham

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HOURS:
Daily 10-5:30
Thurs. 10-7
Sat. 10-3

Pollak's

OTidal

Presents

LET US HELP YOU
SELECT THAT
SPECIAL BRIDAL
HEADPIECE

SUNDAY
JAN. 27, 1991
NOON TO 5 P.M.

ROCHESTER
LOCATION

31065 Orchard Lake Road
Farmington Hills, MI 48334

851-5111
or
656-0035

205 Main St.
Rochester, Michigan 48037

Call for appointment

Coming this Spring

PASSIONS

A magazine designed to move people.
And to move goods.

Issue Date: Week of March 18, 1991
Ad Deadline: February 20, 1991

Published by The Jewish News

could do whatever they pleased
during the event.
"People get very emotional during
this type of event, and we realized
that," Sandy says. "Feelings run high
and people get upset."
If the in-laws get along well, how-
ever, a wedding can give parents the
pleasant sense that their family is
growing larger. Several parents said
that they found much in common
with their machetunirn (relatives of their
child's spouse) and continued to
spend time with them even after the
wedding was over.
Another stress-producing issue is
how well the child's fiancee will
integrate with the family, according to
Dr. Matti Gershenfeld, adjunct profes-
sor of psychoeducational processes
at Temple University, in Philadelphia,
Pa. She notes that if a parent does not
like her child's intended — for reasons
of age, religion, personality or what-
ever — there can be a great sense of
disappointment or disapproval when
the engagement is announced.
On the other hand, a parent who
has made up her mind to accept and
welcome a fiancee she doesn't like
may worry that this emotion will be
conveyed somehow. "There can often
be a concern that the dislike will be
made known, and that strain will
occur," Dr. Gershenfeld says.
A sense of distance or plain un-
friendliness emanating from the
child's fiancee also creates tension.
Often, if a child does not have a
secure, mature relationship with his
own parents, he won't be able to
reach out to his fiancee's parents
without feeling that he is being dis-
loyal to his own kin, according to
Rabbi Murray Saltzman of Baltimore,
Md., Hebrew Congregation.
"Immaturity often makes it
impossible for a daughter- or son-in-
law to include their parents-in-law in
their lives because doing that will
make him or her feel that they're
giving up on their own parents," Rabbi
Saltzman says.
That type of situation, which is
usually manifested by a daughter- or
son-in-law's inability to call the in-laws
anything but "Mr. and Mrs.," can
frequently result in a sense of rupture

Continued on Page 68

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Brides 1991