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FAMILY MATTERS

AV hen her daughter
announced her en-
gagement last year,
mother Sandy E.
immediately began directing all her
energy towards planning a beautiful
wedding. It seemed that nearly every
day for months she negotiated with
caterers, florists, photographers and
bandleaders. The activity reached a
dizzying crescendo in the final week
as all the details came together. Once
it was over and she waved goodbye
to the newlyweds, she expected to
feel an enormous sense of relief. She
did. But along with that came more
than a few twinges of something like
sadness.
"You're so busy and active, dealing
with so many decisions — nice
decisions, like do we use pink or blue
icing on the wedding cake? — and you

20

Brides 1991

The marriage of
a child brings joy
and a host of
other feelings.

■ BY ALYSSA GABBAY

wake up the next day and go back to
your boring life and job. It's a big let-
down"' says Sandy (who, like some
other parents interviewed, preferred
to be anonymous).
For father David M., the bittersweet
feelings came earlier, during the
planning of the wedding. He found
himself thinking about his own

wedding and the weddings of his
friends — as well as about the people
who were no longer alive to witness
this event.
"The wedding brought up a sad
note, in a sense, because my parents
weren't here to see it," David says.
Marcia C., another mother of the
bride, experienced some anxiety over
the fact that a new person, a son-in-
law, would be entering the family
circle. She hoped that everything
would work out smoothly.
There's no doubt that joy is the
predominant emotion for most par-
ents of engaged couples. But, the
experts agree, a whole host of other
feelings — many of them sad or
often
—
anxiety-producing
accompany weddings.
Stress is probably the most
common emotion experienced by