with rear end trouble when
my universal joint gave way,
causing me to have an acci-
dent" . . . "As I approached
the intersection, a stop sign
suddenly appeared in a place
where no stop sign had ever
appeared before. I was unable
to stop in time to avoid the
accident" . . .
"The telephone pole was ap-
proaching fast. I was attemp-
ting to swerve out of its path
when it struck my front end"
"To avoid hitting the
bumper of the car in front, I
struck the pedestrian" . . .
"My car was legally parked
as it backed into the other
vehicle" . . . "An invisible car
came out of nowhere, struck
my vehicle and vanished" .. .
"When I saw I could not avoid
a collision, I stepped on the
gas and crashed into the
other car" .. .
"The pedestrian had no
idea which direction to go, so
I ran him over" . . . "I saw the
slow-moving, sad-face old
gentleman as he bounced off
the hood of my car" . . . "The
indirect cause of this accident
was a little guy in a small car
with a big mouth."
THOSE NEW infra-red
wireless headsets you can
rent in the lobby of the Fisher
Theatre to get amazingly fine
sound are often nicknamed
"binoculars for the hearing
impaired," but folks don't
have to be hard-of-hearing to
enjoy them . . . The sound
from infra-red light transmit-
ted by the theater's master
sound system is incredibly
clear . . . Broadway theaters
had them in 1980 . . . Now
most white-way theaters, Lin-
coln Center, John F. Kennedy
Center for the Performing
Arts, plus thousands of
regional theaters,
auditoriums and movie
houses around the country
have this system . . . The Star
Theatre in Flint has them,
also.
YOU WON'T want to miss
out on "Michigan The Boun-
tiful" by City of Southfield
and Michigan Chefs de
Cuisine Association Jan. 30,
3 to 6 p.m. at the Southfield
Pavilion in the city's civic
center on Evergreen . . . Pro-
ceeds go to the Michigan
Chef's de Cuisine Scholarship
Fund.
ON THAT glorious day
when the first human being
stepped onto the surface of
the moon, an Israeli was
reported to have told an
American friend, "That was
a great achievement, but we
Israelis will do much better.
We are planning a manned
expedition to the sun." . . . "To
the sun?" exclaimed the flab-
bergated American. "But the
heat? The intense light? The
radiation?" . . . "Do you think
we Israelis are fools?" chuckl-
ed the other. "We will, of
course, send the expedition at
night."
ANY FRIENDS in the
hospital? . . . If so, visit them
. . . You'll never know how
much it means . . . Your corn-
ing to see them is unbottled
medicine . . . Hours in the
hospital seem twice as long,
and its boring regimentation
welcomes the freshness of
visitations.
ON HIS FIRST visit to the
zoo recently, little Avery Mar-
cus, son of Shirley and Ray
Marcus visiting in Florida,
stared at a stork for a while,
then turned to Ray and said,
"Gee, Dad, he doesn't
recognize me."
HOW MANY times have
you heard these expressions?
. . . "The doctor is running
late" . . . "What else?" at
bakeries even though you ran
in for only one thing . . . "The
check is in the mail" . . . and
the big telephone turnoff,
"What is this in regards to?"
SCENE AT a local store .. .
After the salesgirl had pa-
tiently assembled a collection
of sweaters for the cute teen-
ager, the young girl finally
tried one on and said, "This
sweater fits perfectly. I'll take
the next size smaller."
MARTY AARON
thoughtfully bought wife Ida
an electric blanket since she
always complains about cold
sheets . . . During the recent
cold spell, Ida was a little
reluctant to sleep under all
that electric wiring, but Mar-
ty assured her it was safe, and
in a minute she was dozing off
very contentedly . . . What he
didn't know was that Ida had
put a beef stew in the oven to
bake all night at low heat .. .
When Marty awakened in the
night and smelled soemthing
cooking, he reached over and
shook her . . . "Ida, Ida,
honey! Are you all right?"
THE LATE Jackie Kannon
used to get a lot of laughs
with this one a number of
years ago . . . The old man
was breathing his last in the
hospital as his only nephew
was standing by his side .. .
"My dear, Irving," the old
timer sighed, "To you, my
dear nephew, the last of our
family, I am leaving my entire
fortune, the house, my
business, everything. It will
soon be all yours."
The nephew brushed away
few tears and held his uncle's
hand warmly and asked soft-
ly, "Uncle Louie, is there
anything I can do for you
now?" . . . The old man sigh-
ed, "Yes, dear nephew . . .
please take your foot off the
oxygen hose!"
❑
After work, head into the City.
Dance to music provided by DJ Stuart Rogoff.
T-Thurs., 5 pm - 9 pm • F & Sat., 7 pm - Midnight
Free Hors d'oeuvres 5 pm - 7 pm, M - F
Mondays $1.00 Bottled Beer, 75 Draft
Tuesdays & Thursdays Ladies Night. 50% Off All Drinks for Ladies.
Wednesdays No Tie Night. 15% Off Tab if You're Not Wearing a Tie!
-
-
-
Taal ity
Celebre New years Lye
at Pearl City!
Restaurant & Lounge
27522 Northwestern Hwy.
(11 Mile Between Lahser & Telegraph)
FAX: 354-0647
354-3700
•
•
•
•
Midnight Champagne Toast
DJ and Dancing
Free Hors d'oeuvres After Midnight
Free Party Favors
"Your fortune says
there are savings
in your future!
from the sayings of Chairman Wong - Pearl City
The only thing better than our authentic Chinese food is
enjoying it for less. Use these coupons to save at our newest
location in Southfield or at one of our other quality
restaurants.
Make your fortune come true. Save at Pearl City!
Pearl
Restaurant & Lounge
20% OFF CARRY-OUTS 1
$3.00 OFF DINNER
For any carry-out order
Purchase 1 entree and receive
totalling $20.00 or more receive
$3.00 OFF
20% OFF your total.
the purchase of a second entree.
I
One coupon per order.
One per person, per order. Sun.-Thur.
Offer good every day.
Doesn't apply to split orders.
GOOD THRU 12-30-901
GOOD THRU 12-30-90 I PEARL CITY
PEARL CITY
I
I
I
Open for lunch and dinner
7 days a week.
OUR NEWEST LOCATION:
SOUTHFIELD
27522 Northwestern Hwy.
(11 Mile Between Lahser & Telegraph)
354-3700 FAX: 354-0647
ROSEVILLE
20753 13 Mile Rd.
At little Mack)
Rosemack Shopping Center
293-4640
ROCHESTER HILLS
2601 South Rochester Rd.
(North of Auburn Rd.)
852-0170
•
COMPARE ANYWHERE! . . . IF YOU WANT THE BEST — GIVE US A TEST!
I OPEN 7 DAYS-SUN.THURS 11-10
ASTED
I DINE IN & CARRY-OUT AVAILABLE I
S
ChiG44:818
by
CLOSED
I FRI-SAT. 11-11 I
•
a
MILES
1HANGIVING
w
118 SOUTH WOODWARD • ROYAL OAK
JUST NOFITH OF 10 MILE NEXT TO ZOO
544-1211
QUALITY AND CONSISTENCY IS OUR PRIORITY!
DYSAUTONOMIA
T A V
Dysautonomia is organized
and operated for educational
research purposes to maintain
evaluation and treatment of
afflected children.
Dysautonomia Foundation Inc.
WE ALSO
FEATURE
DELICIOUS
TURKEY
BURGERS!
E R N
DETROIT'S #1 BURGER
A WHOLE LOT MORE!
"The after-theater place to be"
. . . Danny Raskin
Open 7 Days 'Til 2 a.m.
STEAKS, CHICKEN, HOMEMADE
SOUPS AND OUR FAMOUS SALADS
Southfield Rd. Just North of 13 Mile
642.6422
3000 Town Center, Suite 1500,
Southfield, MI 48075 (313) 444-4848
THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
55