They would ask if he had stopped at the bakery on his way home. How his kinder had loved sweets, especially chocolate. So on Shabbat, he had always stopped at old man Perwin's on Twelfth Street. It wasn't such a hard thing to do. Only two more blocks to walk from the bus stop. And half the time Per- win had given free of charge the little seven-layer cakes for the boys. Shimson had never forgotten. Not even once. His Gittel had been dif- ferent in those days before the boys had gotten so big and had gone off to school. When the rest of the family was rea- dying for sleep, she would still be busy with her knitting. And she smiled sometimes then. How many times had he found her late at night sleep- ing on the sofa with the lights on and the knitting resting on her lap? The sweater was for his birthday, his last birthday before his wife Rachel had died. Gittel never had yelled at him before Rachel had died. No. She didn't yell so much at all in those days. He turned back to her. She was still waiting for him. "Gittel, is time? I want to go now." "No, Pa, you're not going. How many times do I have to tell you? It's always the same thing with you. Where do you think you're going anyway? We won't throw you out! It's just like you to carry on. You want to kill me with your questions?" "Nu. So what is to do?" he said to himself. "Pa, come in before it gets too cold," Gittel said as she turned toward the house. She stopped, hesitated and then added, "Come in and eat now, Pa. It's better if you've finish- ed your dinner before Al gets home!' Shimson looked up and watched her until she stepped into the back door of the house. house where it was warm and safe. Besides, he wanted to tell her not to be afraid of the voices. He had made the boys go away. He looked for his daughter in the house. Shimson walked first into her bedroom. She wasn't there. He knocked on the door of the bathroom; when he heard no answer, he pushed it open and looked quickly around. "Tochter you there?" Still no answer. When he finally found her in the kitchen, Shimson shuffled quickly back to his bedroom. In the dark, his stiff fingers rubbed across the sur- face of a dulled mahogany dresser until they struck against a six-inch, square wind-up clock. Without look- ing up, he turned from the dresser; taking small, scrap- ing steps, he made his way back to the kitchen. "Is the right time, Gittel?" "Yes, Pa?' "I mean, is mine clock like your clock?" "Yes. Yes. It's the right time, already!" What time is it, tochter?" "Pa, what's the matter with you? See for yourself. My God, Pa! You don't have to keep asking. It's 5:30!" "5:30, eh, Gittel?" There was plenty of time. "Pa, put your clock away. Come and eat." "Is it time?" Shimson asked again. "Pretty soon." "Now, Pa, before Al gets home!" * * * Shimson watched as Gittel placed the steaming chicken soup and a plate of carrots and broccoli in front of him. His Rachel had taught Gittel not to cook too much the vegetables, but to steam them soft and sweet. Every day Git- tel prepared two different meals: one for Shimson, and a different one for her and Al. Now too much trouble for her, Shimson thought. Was better eyes with the palms of her hands. The family was warmed by her presence. So long as Rachel was alive, the Shabbat was honored, even in Al's house. The boys would return home early enough to shower and change from their street clothes. They would come scrubbed and shining in a white dress shirt and pressed black pants to the table. And they had kisses for the Grandma, and for the Zayde also. After the dinner, I made the blessing for the family, and then Al would make the blessing for the boys, my kinder. "May you be like Joseph, Ephriam and Manasseh." Then Rachel would look on me, and say to the family, "shah." And when it was just so, I'd bless mine Gittel: "May God bless you as He blessed Sarah, Rachel and Leah!' * * * Shimson returned outside to make sure the boys with their shouting and trouble stayed away. The boys from mine village did not have time to make from nothing trouble. Especially for the old ones. The old ones were honored for their years, and for their learning. It was a gift to spend time and to study at the table with the elders on Shabbat. You had to be chosen. Hunched over, Shimson began swaying, first to the front and then to the back, but he did not move from his spot watching the back gate. His mumbling became sing song and his words changed to a soft hum. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine the colors of the backyard. He told himself green like thick grass, yellow like the wild buttercup flowers, black like the fertile earth. Though he said the words over and over again like a magic enchant- ment, he could not make the pictures appear. White, white morning snow strained to run faster and faster. Shimson clapped his hands together in time to the music spinning in his mind. "Pro- schay te nivaya derevnya, Pro- schay te tsigganskaya lyubov." He half sang and half whispered. The words floated along the river, and the orange streaked sky made the river's rolling waves a reflection of liquid fire that sprang at Shimson's eyes. "Louder, let the music play louder," Shimson shouted over the joyous voices. "Come, Rachel. Greet our guests." "You must honor God with prayer and study," Reb Avrom began. "That has been the way of our people, the way of your father of blessed memory. "And you must honor my daughter with kindness and good works. Shimson, with God's help you can achieve much. But always remember our God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob must be your God and the God of your children." Shimson bent down to his father-in-law, glanced quickly at Rachel and kissed him on the cheek. "You worry too much, Reb Avrom. So you talk too much. I shall always honor you and your daughter. Now please God, Reb Avrom, bless my Rachel and me." Shimson watched Rachel. She was at one time part of the festivities and removed from them. He saw Rachel look toward her mother, father and brothers, but she did not walk over to them. "Pa — come inside. It's get- ting cold and dark. Pa!" Git- tel called. "Old man," she muttered. The thought "selfish, old thing" jumped at her, but she pushed it away. It hadn't always been like this. Once upon a time Pa had brought me in from the cold. Held my hand. We went places together. Now he can't take care of himself. And he Love is stronger than death. "I see you," a soft, high- pitched voice taunted. "I see you," joined another voice. "Where? Gittel, did you yell? Gittel?" Shimson called out. Two boys about 11 years old ran from behind his backyard gate as Shimson pushed himself up from his chair. "I see you . . . see you," they called, scampering away. "What? Say again," Shim- son said. "I don't understand the words." His heart beat wildly, and even though it was chilly, Shimson was sweating. He needed to return to Gittel's with the boys home. There was plenty of talk with those boys. The kinder knew from baseball and from school. And from girls, even. Same like mine village back home. Mine friends also made up moun- tains to climb and gave fangs to sparrows. Same thing. "Is Friday today, tochter," Shimson said quietly. "Al should make from the prayers!' Shimson knew the Shabbat prayers by heart. He didn't need Al to read them. Shim- son thought of his Rachel standing before the Shabbat candles, the orange flame flickering as she covered her was all Shimson could see, clean and shimmering like a diamond in sunlight. The snapping sound it made as his legs crushed it to the frozen soil scratched at his ears. The air tasted of ice water, like a drink from a spring river. As he strode in bouncing steps, snow became trapped in the inside of his black, fur-lined galoshes and gnawed at his ankles. He broke from a half jog into a full sprint. Shimson kicked but with his legs as he ran, forcing his knees high in- to the air and then placing his heels firmly against the ground. He half sang and half laughed out loud as he won't let me care for him. He fights me. In his way, he fights me. "Pa — it's getting too cold tout here for me. Don't make me go looking for you. You'll catch pneumonia, Pa." My beloved is mine, Shim- son whispered in Rachel's ear "Pa! Come in here now!" "Rachel, why do you tremble at the noises of the night?" "Where are you old man? I can't stay out here anymore. Come on, Pa. Where are you? Are you all right?" "Ssh. Ssh, my Rachel, my love. I am here." "Shimson, I love you. I love you forever." ❑ DETROIT'S HIGHEST RATES Minimum Deposit of $500 12 MONTH CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT 6.850% 1.018% Effective Annual Yield * Compounded Quarterly. 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