SINGLE LIFE
ANSWERI G
THAT A
A radio host and a rabbi give ad-vice on the risks
and rewards of responding to personal ads.
JAY LECHTMAN
Special to The Jewish News
88
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 21, 1990
I
n August, The Jewish
News asked two experts
how to write the perfect
personal ad.
Now, they're back to ex-
plain the safest and most
effective ways to meet the
people who responded — as
well as offer some sugges-
tions for respondees.
Susan Block hosts her own
dating show, "Match
Night", on Los Angeles
radio station KFOX. The
Philadelphia, Pa., native
also owns telephone dating
lines and has written the
book Advertising for Love —
How to Play the Personals.
Rabbi Shnayer Lewis is an
adviser for singles activities
to the Etz Chaim Center for
Jewish studies in Baltimore,
Md. Rabbi Lewis, who in
early July was married for
the second time, spent the
last eight years as a single
adult.
Many readers took out
Jewish News People Connec-
tor advertisements and
followed the sometimes con-
flicting advice of the two ex-
perts.
For example, the ads were
brief, specific, positive and
funny — or they weren't too
specific, depending on whose
advice advertisers followed.
Then the answers came.
What were the People
Connector advertisers to do
next?
Examine the responses
and the respondents.
Rabbi Lewis explained
that there are two types of
people who answer personal
ads: "The cream of the crop
who have their heads
together and aren't afraid to
expose themselves and those
who are disturbed and who
need professional help."
So therefore, said the ad-
visers, after the responses
start coming in, read them
carefully.
"Pay attention to what
they wrote," Ms. Block said.
"They wrote it especially for
you. Pay attention to the
stationery, to the hand-
writing, to the words, to
what they have to say. And
to whether they can spell."
On the other end, to those
responding to a personal ad,
Ms. Block suggested that
singles "should definitely
believe every word, and
don't ignore any of it.
"Most complaints are from
people who got a response
from somebody who doesn't
fit the description they were
looking for," she said. "This
is not a good idea; you won't
get a response."
Send a photo, if an ad re-
quests one, she added. "But
don't send a bad photo and
then write, 'This is a bad
photo.' "
Conversely, those asking
for photos should expect
"some of them to not be ac-
curate representations of
real people," Ms. Block
warned.
As one reads the replies,
"keep in mind that people do
exaggerate a little bit," Ms.
Block cautioned. "Men add a
few inches; women take off a
few pounds and everybody
subtracts a couple of years."
Once the mailbox's con-
tents have been cleaned out,
Ms. Block suggested sorting
the responses into three
piles, "Absolute Rejects,
Maybes, and Absolutely
Wonderfuls.
"Call the Absolutely
Wonderfuls first, before they
get away," she instructed.
"Save the Maybe crowd for
when you feel lonely and
Absolutely Wonderful didn't
turn out to be so wonderful."
When you call a suitable
suitor — "at a decent hour,
of course" — ask the person