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JFS To Begin Support
Group For Incest Victims
SUSAN GRANT
Staff Writer
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ncest survivors will have
a chance to break their si-
lence with the help of a
new Jewish Family Service
support group.
JFS plans to start a
therapy group by February
for women who were victims
of incest, said Mrs. Sandra
Jaffa, JFS manager of the
Skillman family interven-
tion program to prevent
child abuse.
The silence surrounding
sexual abuse within the
Jewish community began to
crack in October when incest
survivor Susan Lasker spoke
about her own experience
before showing her film on
abuse called Breaking Si-
lence. For years, she was
abused by her father, a
model member of the Boston
Jewish community.
After the program, which
was co-sponsored by JFS and
B'nai B'rith Women's Coun-
cil of Metropolitan Detroit,
almost 10 women approach-
ed Mrs. Jaffa and other JFS
counselors and asked if JFS
had a support group for sur-
vivors. In the following
weeks, she received similar
phone calls. Three-fourths of
the women who expressed
interest in a support group
were Jewish.
"If they are looking for it,
there is a need for this," said
Mrs. Jaffa, who had hoped
Breaking Silence would lead
to further discussions on
sexual abuse within the
Jewish community. "This is
a response to a need."
While no one wants to
think about the possibility of
a Jewish man abusing his
family, it does happen, she
said. Abuse crosses all socio-
economic lines and religious
beliefs.
In general, more than one
million children are abused
by their parents or guard-
ians. In the Jewish commun-
ity, almost one-third of the
families experience some
kind of domestic violence,
Mrs. Jaffa said.
While most victims are
women, men are also abus-
ed, she said. Yet, men find it
difficult to admit they have
been sexually abused as
children.
So, many men internalize
the pain and are more likely
to hurt their own children,
spouse or parents, which
only adds to the multi-
generational cycle of abuse,
she said. Of the 15 people
who called to ask for a sup-
port group, none were men.
Whether they are men or
women, most victims of sex-
ual abuse are unable to
commit to relationships,
have suicidal feelings and
are more apt to abuse drugs
or alcohol.
"There's a sense of im-
potency and helplessness,"
she said. "Incest survivors
have low self-esteem and feel
they can't accomplish
anything. They have
difficulty in forming rela-
tionships and aren't able to
trust others. For a child this
is a real trust issue. The
parents are supposed to pro-
tect the kids and that trust is
violated."
"The women I have talked
to have been abused and are
just becoming aware of it
and want to do something
"They need to learn
how to cope with
life and be in
control."
Sandra Jaffa
about it," she said. It is not
unusual in cases of incest for
a person to bury the
memories so deeply it
doesn't surface until they
are adults.
"Some have families;
others don't. More than that
I don't know. We haven't
done any evaluations," Mrs.
Jaffa said.
She is also searching for
the funding to make this
support group a long-term
commitment. Although JFS
will finance the program
this year, it doesn't have the
funds to continue it, she
said.
The Skillman Foundation,
which has supported the
family intervention program
at JFS for four years, has
told her it will not do so next
year if the program does not
expand. But the program
cannot expand unless diff-
erent sources of funding are
found, said Mrs. Jaffa, who
hopes someone will establish
an endowment for the
therapy group.
"These are women who
wish to explore what
happened and how to handle
it," Mrs. Jaffa said. "They
need to learn how to cope
with life and be in control.
They need to know they
didn't cause the abuse.
There's a lot of guilt about
it. We want them to be able to
live to their fullest poten-
tial."
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