Kislev Connection: Family Chanukah Celebrations By HARLENE WINNICK APPELMAN Many families are troubled by the commercialism that has become the centerpiece of Chanukah. We are aware why this has happened, but are hard put to change its course. Below is a list of family activities that attempt to focus Chanukah evenings on something other than who gets the biggest gift. These evenings can be even more wonderful if you find several other families with whom you can celebrate. Chanukah Inside Out If Chanukah is a time of gift giving in your home, it is also a great time to teach children about giving to people that they may never have met or known. At the grocery store, have children select an item or two of food on each trip for a food bank such as Oakland County Food Bank or Yad Ezra. Make a Chanukah shelf to store all of these items, and then on the Sunday of Chanukah pack them up and take your whole family to deliver the food to the food bank. Family Journal A nice way to record Chanukah from year to year is to keep a giant Chanukah journal. Record or interview everybody each night. When the kids are really young the journal will have only your thoughts. As they get older, you can enter their thoughts until they're old enough to write and contribute themselves. You could have a limerick night or a wish night or a night to record what they would give the world. This is a guaranteed heirloom. Figure out a way to make copies, so everyone has one in the future. Dreidel Games Plan a family dreidel-a-thon. You can play for the regular stakes of walnuts, pennies or chocolates, or for bonus prizes like a family trip to the movies or a special outing. Ron Wolfson, author of "The Art of Jewish Living," describes a dreidel game called "Susie's Surprise." In this version of dreidel, walnuts are split in half perfectly, ahead of time. After removing the walnut meat, the empty shells are filled with coins or dollar bills and carefully reassembled with glue. The special walnuts are added to a bowl of regular nuts. Dreidel takes place as usual, but at the end everyone opens his walnuts. There are some very lucky winners. Holiday Meaning On Move Continued from Page L-1 of formal guidelines and expectations as does Passover. B. Even for families who are very secure in their Jewishness, Christmas represents a perceived threat. The topic of resisting Christmas took up far more time than did the observance of Chanukah. C. It has become a North American tradition to maximize the Chanukah experience (out of competition with Christmas). North American Jews have evolved a kind of super-Chanukah celebration with "eight nights' worth of presents," eChafffrn THE JEWISH NEWS 27676 Franklin Road Southfield, Michigan 48034 December 7, 1990 Associate Publisher Arthur M. Horwitz Jewish Experiences for Families Adviser Harlene W. Appelman L-2 FRIDAY, DECEMBER 7, 1990 major decorations, a huge family gathering, etc. These actions are designed to foster "Jewish pride," especially for the children. However, for some families, this super- Chanukah experience has begun to feel overblown and artificial. D. The Christmas tree once served as an effective boundary line. It served as a way of separating the "real" Jews from those who would rapidly disappear. Although some Jews did have decorated bushes and trees, they were kept with a certain embarrassment which acknowledged the boundary as they crossed it. Today, almost every Jewish family has non-Jewish relatives who respectfully and appropriately celebrate Christmas. The boundary between "us" and "them" has been blurred — Chanukah and Christmas are now related by marriage, and keeping them distinct, if not apart, represents a new and formidable challenge. Reprinted with permission from, "The Art of Jewish Living/Chanukah," 1990. Make Your Own Gifts Making special gifts for close friends and relatives can be very exciting. It's important to find materials that are unusual and that the craftsmen (both large and small) will really want to use. The other thing that makes this event significant is everyone works together on gifts. The kitchen, living room or family room should be turned into a factory of sorts. Whether it's puffy paint T-shirts or special cookies from the kitchen, with the recipe attached, this type of evening is as special for the givers as it is for the receivers. Chanukah Games Night Put together Chanukah or Jewish themes for games such as charades, Pictionary or Trivial Pursuit. If you are inviting guests, have each family bring either a Jewish game or a Jewish variation of a commercial game. Make sure you have prizes that are really clever, and favors for everyone. A Chanukah family game night for family and friends will definitely be memorable. Recording Night Set aside an evening to record family greetings and stories. Either prepare a special audio or video tape for grandparents (or grandchildren) or one with family stories on it for your own family. Many times we think about doing this type of project, but unless we planfully set aside the time, we CHILDREN'S BOOKS FOR CHANUKAH By Judy Silverman (Copyright 1990, Jewish Telegraphic Agency, Inc.) A HOLIDAY FOR NOAH, by Susan Remick Topek; il- lustrated by Sally Springer, Kar-Ben Copies, Rockville, Md. 1990. 24 pages. Age 3 to 6. Noah's favorite day is Shabbat. Every day at his Jewish nursery school he asks his teacher, "Is today a holiday?" but it never is — that is, until Friday, the "challah-eating day"! Four- or 5-year-olds might even catch this play on words. BIBLE HEROES I CAN BE, by Ann Eisenberg; illustrated by Rosalyn Schanzer. Kay-Ben Copies, Rockville, Md. 1990. 22 pages. Ages 3 to 6. Children don't have to do heroic things to be like Bible heroes. Simple, everyday activities have parallels in Bible stories — welcoming strangers, being kind of animals, learn- ing "something new every day" — even the youngest child can see that her — yes, her — activities can be very important. THE OLD SYNAGOGUE, by Richard Rosenblum. Jewish Publication Society, Philadelphia, 1989. Unpaged. Ages 5 to 8. This is a neighborhood story that could apply to any number of American cities — an area changes; Jewish peo- ple move in and out; and then in again; they need a synagogue; then they don't; then they need one again. If they're very lucky, they find an old synagogue that can be renovated, and they find the old Torahs and Bibles. THE OTHER 1492: JEWISH SETTLEMENT IN THE NEW WORLD, by Norman Finkelstein; illustrated with photographs. Macmillan Children's Book Group, New York. 1989. 100 pages. Ages 10 to 14. This lively documentation of more than eight centuries of Western Europe history (especially Spanish), is told from the Jewish point of view. WE REMEMBER THE HOLOCAUST, by David Adler. Henry Holt & Company Inc., New York. 1989. Ages 11 to adult. David Adler has put together another wonderful and very important book. Using first-person accounts of experiences in the concentration camps, he traces stories of individuals in this terrible time; using photos from museums and libraries and private collections, he enables the people and their lost families to become very real.