ENTERTAINMENT WHAT'S THE RAP ON THESE 2 LIVE JEWS? Two young men from Miami, a record producer and a stand-up comic are "As Kosher As They Wanna Be." RON OSTROFF Special to The Jewish. News W hen Joe Stone and Eric Lambert get old, in about 60 years, they'll have all the right moves. Since August, the Miami duo has practiced being ger- iatric for professional rea- sons. With two and one-half hours of makeup each, Mr. Stone, a 25-year-old record producer, and Mr. Lambert, a 27 - year - old stand - up comic, transform themselves into 83-year-olds Easy Irving (Stone) and MC Moisha (Lambert). The result: 2 Live Jews — probably the world's oldest rappers, with a distinctly Jewish flavor. The two men had been friends for two years. They wanted to work together, but were waiting for the right idea. Then a federal judge in Florida ruled that black rap group 2 Live Crew's "Nasty As They Wanna Be" album was ob- scene. (A federal jury has since decided otherwise.) The judge's ruling made headlines and the conversa- tion at a regular Sunday card game that included Mr. Stone and Mr. Lambert. "We said '2 Live Crew,' they aren't Jewish rappers, are they?" Mr. Lambert recalled recently. "No. But how about 2 Live Jews?" A week later — with hard- ly any sleep in between — they'd completed an album "2 Live Jews, As Kosher As They Wanna Be." The album, on the Kosher Records label created for the occasion, runs from corny jokes and biting satire to an- ti-drug and pro-education messages and "Hatikvah" to a rap beat. And after so many inter- views and performances (they'll be at Hammerjacks Nov. 2), the comics and their characters tend to flow to- gether. During a recent telephone interview from Miami, the comedy team rapidly took turns answering questions and going in and out of character. "I'm thanking God that everyone is buying the al- bum," said Mr. Stone in the heavy European Jewish ac- cent of Easy Irving. The comedy album, that neither thought would be a hit, has already sold over 100,000 copies and made the top 200 chart in Billboard magazine It's also started a little controversy. One song, entitled "J.A.P. Rap," tells the story of an empty-headed, credit card- laden "Jewish American Princess." "Jewish American Prin- cess spends money all the time. - "Jewish American Prin- cess, I love to hear her whine." The Anti-Defamation "We would walk around Miami Beach and Just watch these people and listen to them. And if we'd notice a really good character, we would study them." —Eric Lambert League has gotten some complaints. But the team said its intent was purely comic. "When we did that we didn't expect this album to be a hit," said Mr. Lambert. "It was done about a friend of Joe's. She suggested it. And she thought it was hilarious." But maybe the critics should listen to the song's opening before complaining. "This song is not about all Jewish women," Easy Irv- ing begins. "That's right," MC Moisha adds. "Just the ones we're talking about." "J.A.P. bashing is repre- hensible," Mr. Lambert said. "We didn't know about that [when they wrote the song]. We hold Jewish wo- men in high esteem." With the tune "Shake Your Tuchas," they try to teach listeners a little Yiddish — from meshuganer ("kind of nuts") to kibbitz ("it's talk") and kvetching ("complaining"). The song from the album that's gotten play on radio stations has been "Oy, It's So Humid," which bears some resemblance to a 2 Live Crew song about searching for sex. In the 2 Live Jews ver- sion, Moisha and Irving aren't searching for women. They're-looking for a place to get away from the Miami heat. "Walking back to the ho- tel from the bagel shop. "It was so damn humid, hair was almost like a mop. "I was sweating like a mule. I was frying like a blintz." Then there's the chorus by a whiny Jewish woman. "Oy, it's so humid "Oy, it's so humid "Oy, it's so humid "It's like a sauna in here." Of this song, there's even a video. It made the MTV news and other video chan- nels are playing it. "But they don't know quite where to put it," Mr. Stone said. "It's rap. But it's not rap." On the cut, "Young Jews Be Proud," the elderly two- some gives the latest gener- ation a lesson in history and ethnic pride. "Never forget what your people went through to get you here," an old father says to his son, who is a father himself. "To every corner of the world, you can trace our tears... "You are the nation of our fathers, young Jews be proud" The guys insisted that their album is not knocking old people. They said it's almost an appreciation of them. Although the album was quickly done, the characters had been in development for a while. The comedy team of Lambert and Stone has created rap music with a Jewish flavor. "My character developed over years of observations," Mr. Stone said. "We went to the beach to pick up some of the nuances, styles and movements of the elderly. And we recalled certain aunts and uncles and other older Jews with heavy Eu- ropean accents." "We would walk around Miami Beach and just watch these people and listen to them," Mr. Lambert said. "And if we'd notice a really good character, we would study them. But there was a great deal of similarity. They were among the hap- piest and friendliest people we had ever seen." On the album's cover is a dowdy older woman in a bathing suit, walking past the drooling octogenarians. "That is a very nice wom- an, who was kind enough to help us out," said Mr. Stone. "We got her off Miami Beach. And we paid her." When an album is made in a week, the ideas fly fast and furious. And many of them just don't make the cut. The chorus of one of the songs briefly had been "Oy, it's so humid. Oy, it's so humid. It's like an oven in here," said Mr. Stone The two comics said they looked at each other and re- membered their friends whose parents were Holo- caust survivors. "No, we can't say that," Mr. Stone said they decided. " 'How about steambath?' So we settled on sauna." Although this is their first album as a team, Mr. Stone has been in the record busi- ness for nine years. His fa- ther, Henry Stone, founder and president of TK records, worked as a producer for James Brown, Ray Charles and Sam & Dave. The son has since produc- ed albums of dance music, rap and rock n' roll. But his first project was a comedy record. "I put together Ron and DC Crew," Mr. Stone said. "It was Ronald Reagan rap- ping. And it made Bill- board's top 100 pop chart." With the success of the new album have come tele- vision and movie offers. But neither comic would talk about them. "So as not to curse ourselves," said Mr. Lambert, in MC Moisha's heavy European voice. ❑ THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS 73