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Noah's God-Inspired Cruise

NARRATOR: The earth became
corrupt before God; the earth was
filled with lawlessness.
GOD: Would you look at this
mess? Adam and Eve eat of the
Tree of Knowledge and everything
goes down the drain. I've got to do
something about this. Maybe I'll
blow up the whole place. No, I can't
do that. I guess, deep down, I'm a
softy. There's a few good people
down there. Not many, but a few.
Yet, something must be done.
NOAH: Any luck, Shem?
SHEM: Nope.
NOAH: How about you,
Japheth?
JAPHETH: Not a single
customer.
NOAH: Ham, any luck?
HAM: Sorry, Dad.
NOAH: I can't understand it. I
thought for sure we'd make a killing
in the cruise line business.
JAPHETH: The problem is that
we live in the desert. You don't take
cruises across the desert.
NOAH: Well, I've been working
on that problem. If it ever rains,
we'll just build a dam, put the boat
in it and float around our own lake.
HAM: Dad, you're dreaming.
We just picked the wrong business
to be in. We should go back to
being nomads.
GOD: Noah?
JAPHETH: Excuse me, Sir, but I

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1. BLUE

2. RED

3. YELLOW

COLOR THE NUMBERS,
AS FAST AS YOU CAN,
TO SEE WHERE NOAH LIVED,
WHEN HE REACHED DRY LAND!

4. GREEN

NOAH: What can I say?
GOD: You've said enough. Get
working. I'm anxious to get this
flood on the road. By the way, send
some of your boys to gather up one
pair of each species of animal and
seven pairs of clean animals and
put them on board also.
NOAH: Out of the question. I
will not permit animals on one of my
cruises.
GOD: Noah!
NOAH: On the other hand, I
was just saying to the missus how
nice it would be to take a cruise
with a camel.
NARRATOR: And Noah did just
as the Lord had commanded him.
Noah was six hundred years old
when the flood came. All the
fountains of the great deep burst
apart and the floodgates of the sky
broke open.
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and
gentleman, welcome to day 40 of

the crisis in Mesopotamia. It's been
raining for forty days and forty
nights. The waters have covered the
highest mountains. Noah and his
family are hostages at sea.
SHEM: Dad, these animals are
beginning to smell a bit.
NOAH: Ham was supposed to
buy some air freshener at the
market before we left.
HAM: Sorry, Dad. I forgot.
NOAH: Well, look who is
laughing last? Everyone made fun
of Noah's Cruise in the Sand. Just
wait till I see them.
JAPHETH: Dad, they won't be
there. We're the only ones left in the
world.
NOAH: I keep forgetting.
NARRATOR: And when the
waters had swelled on the earth for
one hundred and fifty days, God
remembered Noah and all the
animals with him and God caused
the wind to blow across the earth

5. BLACK

6. BROWN

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can't seem to see you. Where are
you?
GOD: Here, there, everywhere.
Listen, Noah, I want to charter a
cruise.
NOAH: Terrific. When do you
want to go?
. 6 GOD: Soon.
NOAH: Soon? We're sort of
wait ing for the rainy season to get
some water.
GOD: You need some rain? I
an arrange that.

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FRIDAY, OCTOBER 12, 1990'

NOAH: You can arrange for
rain? You must be God.
GOD: At your service.
NOAH: Oh, dear! Oh, my
goodness.
GOD: Relax, Noah. I've got a
job for you. I want you to build an
ark.
NOAH: We have a boat already.
GOD: Boats are easy. I want an
ark. Make it out of gopher wood,
cover it inside and out with pitch.
Make it three stories high and put
strong floors on the second and
third decks.
NOAH: Who is taking this
cruise? The Missus? The kids?
GOD: Listen, Noah. You're a
nice guy. A little strange, but you're
the best I've got. I'm about to give
the earth a bath. This place is
about to go under. I'm opening the
floodgates in the sky. I'm offering
you and your family a free ride.
You're the only ones I'm saving.