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BACK TO SCHOOL

Working Wives

udy W. still remembers
that hectic Sunday
morning when she ask-
ed her husband to take the
kids to the market. She gave
him the grocery list and $6
worth of coupons. "He simp-
ly handed back the coupons
and said, 'It's not a good time
for this — I have other things
I want to do.' Eventually I per-
suaded him to take the kids
and the coupons, but this is a
classic example of how we
negotiate household chores,"
she explains.
When she married six years
ago, Judy, now 39, officially
joined a demographic revolu-
tion: the dual-career couple.
Then she added something
else to her schedule: mother-
hood. Today, she comes home
from the office every evening
to the responsibilities of a
household, marriage and two
children. Judy just found out
her other job has a name: the
second shift.
According to Arlie Hoch-

ej

schild, a sociology professor at
the University of California
at Berkeley and author of The
Second Shift: Working Parents
and the Revolution at Home,
wives work 15 hours a week
more at home than do their
husbands, which means an
extra calendar month a year.
Although the women's move-
ment may have created a
revolution in the work force,
she says, sexual equality
stops at the door to the broom
closet. Dr. Hochschild claims
that household chores are
evenly divided among only 18
percent of all dual-career
couples. It is almost always
the woman who does the
shopping and the dishes,
makes the children's birthday
parties and pediatrician ap-
pointments, and remembers
to pick up a gallon of milk on
the way home.
The "second shift" creates
tremendous tension in two job
marriages. The huge social
change in the United States,

Even after
putting in a full
day at the
office, a
woman's work is
never done.

with two-thirds of all mothers
now in the work force, is hard
on wives — and on husbands.
The working wife has added
to her responsibilities
without having subtracted
anything, and both spouses
work in a culture that over-
values productivity and
achievement.
If the dust balls are growing
under the bed as a result,
women aren't feeling guilty

DOROTHY CUPICH

Special to The Jewish News

anymore. They're feeling
freer to ask for help. But
that's just it — they have to
ask. And to find ways to get
husbands to listen to what is
essentially bad news for
them, because, let's face it,
nobody likes to do housework.
Second-shift wives agree
that there are certain chores
men usually refuse to do, like
cleaning the oven, toilets and
floors, which they regard as
too menial or too demeaning.
Chores that involve
machines, like vacuuming
and laundry, invite more help.
Arlie Hochschild notes that a
popular male strategy is
"needs reduction," as in, "I'll
share the work, but we'll do
less — we don't need the bed
made, we don't need a cooked
meal!'
The truth is that working
wives and mothers must em-
ploy a variety of measures to
maintain their households —
and thus their marriages.
They may choose flex-time,

cleaning services, marriage
counseling or extra help.
"I have a housekeeper who
comes in every day, takes care
of our three-year-old and does
the shopping, laundry and
cleaning," explains Loretta S.,
a writer. "Working at home
provides an ideal way to get
my writing done and still be
near my family!'
Her husband, Joel, a physi-
cian, believes that an extra
pair of hands is the key for
couples who can afford it.
"Women are not going to
solve the household and child-
care sharing problem by
rebuilding males," he says.
"Rather than trying to
change men's genetic and
cultural makeup and turn
them into Mr. Mom, I'd look
to technology for providing an
answer to the problem. For in-
stance, GE engineers are
developing household robots.
If women want to solve the
housework problem, they
ought to go into engineering!"

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

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