"It helped us both to come to
grips with it and deal with
each other in a more under-
standing way.
"I used to get angry, but
I'd bottle it all up, then hate
myself, be mean to me. I
wasn't getting anywhere.
This has not only given me a
larger support group to work
through things with, but
also a way to resolve and
deal with things on my
own," she said.
Mike Morey of Belleville, a
psychiatric social worker,
said the program helped him
become more assertive with
fellow professionals and the
forgiveness exercises proved
helpful to his patients. "It
enabled me to offer increas-
ed care to the patients," he
said.
Margo Glazer of Southfield
said that in addition to im-
proving familial relation-
ships, she developed friend-
ships with other participants
which continued after the
group ended.
It was the forgiveness
aspect — coupled, perhaps,
with The Jewish News'
People Connector ads —
that, in fact, had the most
powerful effect on Mrs. Ber-
man.
Through "A Course in
Miracles," a program cre-
ated by two Jewish psychol-
ogists and promoted by a
Jewish psychiatrist, Dr.
Jerry Jampolsky, Mrs. Ber-
man learned to become more
positive and loving toward
herself and others.
"Cognitive restructuring
helps you face reality
better," she said. "But when
reality is really tough — a
divorce, a death, a serious il-
lness — you have to go back
to forgiveness. You need
more than cognitive restruc-
turing. Through a
systematic program in the
`Course in Miracles,' you
learn forgiveness of your
body for failing you,
forgiveness of your fate,
forgiveness toward other
people who have let you
down."
Mrs. Berman worked
diligently at the program,
which she said Rabbi David
Nelson Of Congregation
Beth Shalom told her was
not inconsistent with
Judaism. "It talks about the
God within us," she said.
She also never gave up in
her quest for a husband. "I
dated a lot despite my il-
lness," she said. "I had re-
sponded to many personal
advertisements in both the
People Connector and the
Detroit Free Press. But out of
about 18 dates in six years, I
liked only one."
So she placed her own ad
in the People Connector, in
which she stated she had an
illness but still had much to
give. "I got two responses
and I married one of them."
Her marriage last
September to architect
Aaron Swirsky has been
wonderful, she said. "To me,
the best thing in life is a
good, intimate relationship.
And frankly, that's why I
feel I'm a good teacher who's
qualified to teach this course
— because I did it myself:
I've had two good marriages,
incredibly good mar-
riages." ❑
Assertiveness
Workshop Slated
The Jewish Community
Center and Wayne State
University Psychology Clinic
will co-sponsor an asser-
tiveness training workshop
for singles aged 25-45, 7-9
p.m. Aug. 15 at the Maple-
Drake building.
A variety of techniques will
be taught through experien-
tial exercises and role-
playing. The workshop will be
led by Shirley Berman, direc-
tor of social services at WSU's
Psychology Clinic, along with
social worker Marshia
Zuziak, B.S.W. and Elana
Brand, a doctoral candidate
in clinical psychology.
To register for the
workshop, call the singles
department, 661-1000, Ext.
347, by Aug. 12. Admission is
free.
City Of Hope
Group Planned
New Horizons, a fundrais-
ing and social activities sin-
gles group for persons ap-
proximately age 45 and over,
is being planned by City of
Hope.
For information on the
group, contact Sharon Stein,
552-9237, or Fern Fine, 356-
2265.
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