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21,Arto
Blind Dating
Dating
When your relatives want to fix
you up, be prepared for a
disenchanted evening.
other Nature abhors
a vacuum. So do
mothers Barbara,
Sylvia and Grace, not to men-
tion Aunt Myrna, Cousin
Louise and three of the yen-
tas from the neighorhood.
The void (read: woman
without a beau) makes them
nervous.
This is how I know. One
Monday morning, disen-
chanted with my boyfriend, I
penned a poisonous letter
(with a "P.S." reminding him
to save the note in case I ever
become a famous writer).
Before the day was out (or the
letter mailed, for that matter)
my mother had alerted the
troops to my new single
status. And though angels
may fear to tread on the
mine-field of my young life,
my relatives don't mind fool-
ing around with it: "We have
to find someone for you," they
began to cry in unison before
the ink was dry on the "Dear
John" letter.
Susan Kleinman is the
author of "Real Life 101:
(Almost Surviving Your First
Year Out of College." This
article first appeared in
"Inside" magazine.
"Why don't you join the Ver-
tical Club?" asked Aunt
Margie, referring to an expen-
sive New York City gym that
would be better named the
Horizontal Club, given the ob-
SUSAN KLEINMAN
Applegate Square
Northwestern Hwy. at Inkster
.
Special to The Jewish News
M
jective of most of its able-
bodied clientele.
"Go to shul!" suggested a
third cousin twice removed,
thus risking permanent
removal. I didn't quite get it:
was I supposed to go to
synagogue to meet a man or
just to pray for one? In either
case, I couldn't imagine a
long, happy life for my late-
sleeping self with a guy who's
voluntarily awake in time to
catch shachris (the morning
prayer).
"I've heard you can pick up
men in the supermarket,"
said my spinster aunt,
Evelyn, who could not pick up
a man if she were assisted by
a crane and a shovel. Slowly,
patiently, I explained to her
that every time I cruise the
aisles, I notice that the best-