I SINGLE LIFE I
Handicapped Find Mates
Via Blind Matchmaker
MICHAEL FARBOWITZ
Special to The Jewish News
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A Selective Jewish Dating Service
94
FRIDAY, JUNE 8, 1990
354-6060
M
ost people would not
even consider a
blind date arranged
by a blind matchmaker. But
then again, Rabbi
Mordechai Scharf does not
arrange marriages for just
anyone.
Rabbi Scharf, a 44-year-old
former pulpit rabbi from
Brooklyn now residing in
Efrat, Israel, tries to find
mates for those people who
would have little or no
chance of finding one on
their own: mentally and
physically handicapped
Jews.
Through an organization
which he founded, Maayan
L'Ncheh, or "Wellspring for
the Handicapped," the
rabbi, his wife Shoshana and
son Reuven have sought to
remove physical and painful
social and psychological bar-
riers that have prevented
the handicapped from dating
and eventually leading nor-
mal family lives.
Rabbi Scharf, who is
legally blind, started
Maayan almost two years
ago as a general Jewish
matchmaking service. "I
was concerned with the
declining marriage rate
among Jews and I decided to
start a non-profit marriage
bureau," he said.
After a few months, when
some handicapped clients
applied to the service, the
rabbi realized that meeting
the disabled's unique needs
would present a challenge to
his existing service. "I
decided to do something spe-
cial to help the handicapped.
I thought my own handicap
would help me relate to
them."
He said that his handicap
has made him sensitive to
the special needs of the
disabled. When he asked his
wife if she would have mar-
ried him if he had been los-
ing his sight when they met,
she responded that, no, she
would not have considered
it.
In the face of a difficult
task, Maayan's attempts
have met with some success.
The organization has ar-
ranged eight disabled mar-
riages, in addition to mar-
riages for 17 other couples.
Rabbi Scharf says that the
service now has 150 han-
micnael arbowitz is studying
at a yeshiva in Efrat, Israel.
dicapped clients from around
the world. "We are the only
address for people in Israel,
maybe the world,"he claims.
The organization has es-
tablished rabbinic and
medical advisory boards to
aid in halachic or medical
problems as they arise.
Medical concerns are espe-
cially important, since some
handicaps are genetic and
may affect a couple's ability
to have children.
In addition to overcoming
the obvious physical
difficulties, Maayan deals
with the more subtle social
and psychological impedi-
ments to a successful match.
"We're a lot of people's
first dates," said Reuven
Scharf.
Maayan asks all of its ap-
plicants if they are willing to
date a disabled person. Since
Maayan hopes to
expand its services
worldwide and
follow up
successful clients
with support
groups.
most people decline, Rabbi
Scharf is forced to match
disabled people with each
other. Most handicapped
people prefer to be paired
with someone of a different
disability, since they can
help each other with their
respective handicaps.
In Israel, the disabled face
a number of difficulties deal-
ing with their disability.
Many may not even com-
plete high school. Until re-
cently, epileptics were
treated as retarded, the
rabbi claims. "What it was
20 years ago in the United
States, it is now in Israel,"
he complains.
Reuven tells the story of a
21-year-old client with
cerebral palsy, who could not
speak. At first, Maayan did
not think that they could
help, but when he began
communicating via corn-
puter, they realized that he
was a brilliant computer
specialist with a great per-
sonality. "We got him
dating," says Reuven, but
the girl's parents rejected
him.
Not all of the stories end
on a sad note, although the
reality is that many do.
Reuven also relates the story
of a young woman with polio
who was despondent over