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Cockroaches • Ants • Fleas • Bees • Hornets • Wasps • Rats • Mice and any other pests. For a FREE inspection and estimate, Call Today! Mw MI Mai. aala =1..M AML 111111111W- arms .11 NMI MUM WAN 111111r711111 CONTROL ■ M molly Michigan's Largest Independent Pest Control Company For Service Throughout Southeastern Michigan Call: (313) 546 6200 - 66 FRIDAY, APRIL 13, 1990 Exercise regularly. WERE FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE Eradicate With Eradico Looking Again At Intermarriage American Heart t Association hat if every parent and grandparent said kaddish for every child and grandchild who married a non-Jew? And what if each of them lit a can- dle to mourn their loss? The landscape of America would be dotted with burning lights. More and more over the past 20 years, intermarriage has become an ever-present reality in contemporary Jewish life. There now seems to be a relative in every fami- ly who has married a non-Jew. What else could be ex- pected? Jews now move free- ly in an open society; work- ing, playing, living, going to school with their gentile neighbors. Jews have non- Jewish friends; they par- ticipate in almost every aspect of American life with non-Jews. The context of the American landscape has changed in such a way that non-Jews more openly accept Jews as marriage partners and vice-versa. The stigma on both sides is not what it was a generation ago. In the con- temporary melting pot, the home has become a microcosm for the cultural, religious and ethnic pat- chwork that makes up America. The hope that Jewish edu- cation will provide some in- noculation against intermar- riage has proved to be a vain one. Nearly all Jewish boys and girls receive some Jewish education. Indeed, more Jews of the third and fourth generation have some formal Jewish education than did previous generations. Of course, this is not to say that contemporary Jews know more about Judaism or feel more about Judaism. It only reflects the fact that more of them have formal Jewish education. This does not mean that Jews know more in terms of yiddishkeit, knowledge of Jewish history and rituals, a sense of belong- ing or active participation or understanding of tzedakah. There is much evidence to the contrary. Jews seem to know less and feel less about being Jewish with each generation. No amount of Jewish educa- tion can serve as some in- Gary A. Tobin is director of the Cohen Center for Modern Jewish Studies at Brandeis University. sulating blanket against meeting and falling in love with a non-Jewish partner. Intermarriage now seems in- evitable to some degree or another. The critical ques- tion, of course, is to what degree? The traditional ways of dealing with intermarriage do not work today. Convinc- ing a child that they should not marry a non-Jew is almost hopeless in the face of their meeting someone that they love. The twin coercion methods of guilt or disap- pointment cannot prevent in- termarriage. Such tactics may succeed in alienating children, or even more likely, pushing away their non- Jewish spouses from the Jewish community. Coercion is a destructive and un- workable path. At the same time the aban- donment of concern or the failure to set standards is also a negative route. Suggesting The hope that Jewish education will provide some innoculation against intermarriage has proved to be a vain one. that we must be open and ac- cepting with no qualifications gives the message that nobody cares at all: intermar- riage doesn't matter. Somewhere between guilt and disappointment on the one hand and indifference and resignation on the other are a set of activities,, strategies and hopes for deal- ing with intermarriage. The most obvious strategy is making Judaism some- thing that children, young adults, and adults want to do as opposed to something that they think they ought to do. Children especially will not respond to their religion and culture in a positive way on- ly to please their parents. Children cannot be expected to adhere to some unknow- able, unpalatable, or un- fathomable set of traditions. Judaism must instead pro- vide a moral and ethical framework for Jews that is differentiated from Chris- tianity, Buddhism, Scien- tology, or aerobics. Teaching a course in comparative Continued on Page 68