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Controlling your blood pressure can reduce your risk of heart disease. A Thoughtful Expression... With a Cookie or Candy Tray giorko cl ifisr--- WE 737-2450 DELIVER! TRES SWEET Candy & Nut Rays A Gift of Caring. FREE LOCAL DELIVERY (313) 626- 3435 152 FRIDAY, APRIL 13, 1990 A new book by Hadassah tackles the complex issues involved in Jewish marital status. (1) Membership of notional lot exchange Accepted by representatives of the Orthodox, Conservative and Reform communities 1 Dealing With Matters Of The Heart V American Heart Association Heartfelt wishes sent with delicious gift baskets from .. . A TISKET A TASKET (313) 661,4789 Packaged and Delivered 7 Days a Week MICHAEL FARBOWITZ Special to The Jewish News y our 1 8-year-old daughter comes home one day and an- nounces that she's moving in with her boyfriend. How do you react? Where do you turn? What are the Jewish perspectives toward this and other situations that involve love and marriage? The answers to these ques- tions can be found in a wide- ranging new book, Jewish Marital Status, commission- ed by Hadassah, the Wo- men's Zionist Organization of America. The book deals with traditional and con- temporary issues from all different angles of Judaism. The topics progress from singles, through marriage, divorce, widowed and remarriage, and also contain large sections on intermar- riage and gays and lesbians in the Jewish community. Jewish Marital Status is "not just a book, but a con- cept," said Dr. Carol Dia- ment, editor of the volume and national director of Jew- ish education at Hadassah, based in New York City. She explained that the book is one component of a massive effort to reach out and educate the Jewish commun- ity about the different lifestyles that exist among Jews. The idea for the book began in 1986 at a Hadassah convention on Miami Beach. A Greek cultural convention was at the hotel at the same time, and Hadassah mem- bers noticed an important difference from their own convention. While the Greeks focused on cultural events, they also brought young people together to in- troduce them to each other and encourage marriage within Greek Orthodoxy. Diament said that she real- ized that Hadassah should be doing something to reach out to Jews in the face of Jewish demographic prob- lems such as rising inter- Michael Farbowitz, a recent graduate of Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, Md., is now studying in Israel. marriage, delayed marriage and falling birthrate. The goal of the book is two- fold, explained Diament, the first woman to earn a doc- torate in Jewish studies from Yeshiva University. The first goal is "to pro- vide classical teachings that raise consciousness about the Jewish obligations in marriage and child-raising." In addition, "we hope to en- courage the Jewish com- munity to acknowledge and reach out to those Jews with alternative lifestyles. We Carol Diament: Spur Jewish activism? tried to make the book a comprehensive, richly tex- tured portrait of people in all lifestyles," she said. Another goal was to pre- sent a balanced view of the issues. Articles by religious leaders of the Orthodox, Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist movements can be found. Both traditional and liberal viewpoints of homosexuality and premarital sex are pre- sented. "Only if the issues touch the young people will they be attracted to the movement," said Diament. The 387-page hardbound book contains 43 essays. "Some are professional ex- positions, others confes- sional exhibitions," said Rabbi David Feldman, one of the book's contributors. The personal essays in- clude a young man grappl- ing with traditional obser- vance and premarital sexual encounters, a mother's thoughts on her daughter's first trip to the mikvah before her wedding and a lesbian woman explaining her sexual orientation to her grandmother, while making gefilte fish. Each issue is explored from different perspectives. For example, the section on gays and lesbians presents both traditional and liberal points of view. In the first essay, Janet Marder, a Reform rabbi, discusses the changes in at- titude that she went through when she accepted the post as rabbi of a synagogue for gays and lesbians in Los Angeles. She said that at first she harbored a prejudice, based on stereotypes and lack of knowledge about homosex- uality. As she became friendly with her con- gregants, she became much more understanding of their way of life, and accepted their behavior. She was then forced to reconcile her feel- ings with traditional teachings and Halachah, which treat homosexuality as an abomination. Rabbi Marder decided that the laws and ancient teachings were not absolute, and were written by human beings who did not under- stand and were fearful of homosexuality. Representing the opposing point of view was Rabbi David Feldman, author of Marital Relations: Con- traception and Abortion in Jewish Law, who said that homosexuality is not an ac- ceptable lifestyle according to traditional Jewish law. He concluded that it is im- portant to "love the sinner, but hate the sin." Diament admitted that dealing with homosexuality was difficult. "There was tremendous resistance in some quarters of Hadassah to treating the relationships of gays and lesbians," she said. At the same time, "we realize that there are Jewish gay and lesbian homes whose residents have Jewish attitudes and needs; we felt it was incumbent upon us to acknowledge these homes." Intermarriage also pre- sented similar problems since discussing the topic might might be seen as ac- cepting intermarriage or condoning it. ❑