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March 02, 1990 - Image 34

Resource type:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1990-03-02

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32000 Middlebelt Rd., Farmington Hills, MI 48018

presents an
Exclusive Presentation By
The World Renowned




Tuesday, March 13, 1990 7:30 p.m.

Jews Urged To Fight
German Reunification


Special to The Jewish News


he strangest episode
yet in German
reunification fever
was highlighted in the lead,
front-page story of an issue
of the Washington Times:
"Party Chief Asks Jews To
Oppose Germany Unity."

According to a telephone
interview that Times'
reporter James Dorsey con-
ducted with Jerusalem
Rabbi Zvi Weinmann, the
head of East Germany's
Communist party, Gregor
Gysi, had appealed to the
international Jewish corn-
munity for financial aid to

maintain the independence
of his country and thus pre-
vent reunification.
The rabbi told the Times
that Gysi had told him "that
a united Germany would be
bad for the whole world and
especially for the Jews. He
said that because of Nazism,
we Jews should be the ones
leading the opposition to
reunification of Germany."
The rabbi was identified
by the Times as "an Israeli
Orthodox religious leader
involved, in supporting
efforts to reestablish Jewish
life in East Germany." He
quoted Gysi as saying, "The
entire world is monitoring
your [the Jewish] response to
this issue. If you support
reunification, why should

anyone else oppose it? "
Since East Germany has
recently agreed to make
reparation payments for
crimes committed during the
Nazi years, Gysi's proposal
would, in effect, recycle
money given to Jews back to
the Communist state.
Reacting to Gysi's corn-
ments, one Israeli official
said, "Ironically, the new
regimes in Eastern Europe
appear to still believe in the
Protocols of Zion and show
that by appealing to Jews for
help." -
The Protocols of Zion is a
19th-century anti-Semitic
tract that alleged there was
an international Jewish con-
spiracy to dominate the

`Lampoon' Scoops World
On Jesus' Bar Mitzvah

Hand-woven tallitot by



(Near Jaffa Gate — outside Old City Walls)

PHONE (313) 855-2910

In its April issue, the Na-
tional Lampoon, a magazine
that has seen better — and
funnier — days, prints a
scoop that has eluded ar-
chaeologists for centuries:
The official account of the
bar mitzvah of Jesus.
The artifacts of the bar
mitzvah were found, accor-
ding to the Lampoon
jokesters, in six an-
cient, wide-necked earthen
jars in a small, well-
concealed cave" near
Nazareth, the town where
Jesus lived with his parents
as a youth.
The bar mitzvah featured
bald locusts and pepper
steak, cream of gentile soup
with kreplach, and Herod
fish in Sannhedrin sauce.
The Lampoon noted that the
menu also "definitively
dates the Jewish practice of
eating kugel to before the
destruction of the Second

Photos included Jesus
wearing a crown of thorns
and a halo while dancing
with his mother. Also
depicted: the 13-year-old
helping an elderly woman
cut his bar mitzvah cake.
"Scholars," commented the
madcaps who wrote this
story, "have no way of de-
termining whether this
woman is the actual grand-
mother of Jesus or just a
local yenta."
Other artifacts found in
the fictional cave were an
accordion, a $50 savings
bond, a piece of lake
sturgeon, a fountain pen and



`National Lampoons' bar mitzvah of Jesus.

a book of matches
monogrammed with the
name, "Jesus."
For some reason, the zany
Lampoonists have a Judaic
bent to their humor these
days. The story immediately
preceding Jesus' bar mitz-

vah ends with a wedding of
two dogs at which two rabbis
officiate. As one rabbi says,
"L'chaim, Now break the
glass with your paw," the
other is thinking, "You'll
never convince me that they
don't eat trayf."

Israelis, Czechs Discuss
Flights For Soviet Jews

The "Washington
Whispers" column in U.S.
News & World Report has an
intriguing tit-for-tat item:
During Israeli Foreign Min-
ister Moshe Aren's trip to
Prague last month, Arens
raised with Czechoslovak
President Vaclav Havel the
possibility of Aeroflot, the
Soviet airline, routing part
of the Soviet Jewish exodus
via Prague.
Havel proposed, "only half
in jest," according to U.S.
News, that the returning

planes could fly home Soviet
soldiers stationed in
Czechoslovakia. Since
Moscow contends that lack
of housing in the USSR has
delayed the promised troop
withdrawal, Havel said the
Kremlin could buy apart-
ments vacated by
emigrating Jews.
The Arens-Havel discus-
sion occurred before the
Soviet government decided
not to allow direct air flights
between Israel and the

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