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ROMANCE

substantial careers and more assets,
they want it, too. In the past it was
looked upon by the man as a means
to secure his finances in case of
divorce or if the wife wasn't making
as much. Today, that doesn't hold
true.
But, Slawson admits, the couple
walks a fine line when prenuptials are
discussed. "You don't want to spoil the
romance. You don't want to go through
the marriage planning for a divorce.
But, on the other hand, you have to
be realistic. If the couple can agree on
one, they should just sign it and forget
about it:' she says.

In a first wedding, the big
issue is the guest list. In
the second wedding, it's
money and children.

If problems over the prenuptial
agreement arise, Slawson suggests
short-term counseling. "It is a place
where one of the spouses-to-be, who
may be feeling hurt over the implica-
tion of being asked to sign it, can ex-
press feelings," she says. "And the per-
son who wants the prenuptial may
have an opportunity to talk about
some of the pain the first marriage
caused in relation to money. In the
long run, this could make the couple
closer and understand the issue bet-
ter.
Another area of concern is step-
children. Each case is individual and
depends solely on how the children
relate to the future husband and father.
Slawson says, "If the woman has
children and she's been dating the
man for five years and there's a strong
bond, they should tell the children
together."
Whatever the dating time, the step-
children should always be told before
anyone else in the family. However,
Slawson adds, "If there's a lot of
resentment on the children's part, she
shouldn't subject her future fiance to
their hostility and she may choose to
tell them alone:'