"Usually, the first one was more for-
mal and the parents of the bride were
the focal point and got more involved.
In the second one, the couple is usual-
ly older, their tastes are more
established, and they have their own
sense of style. The wedding should
reflect that;' says Slawson.
To attain the mood you want, use
creativity in selecting a bridal outfit.
"You don't have to wear the traditional
white gown;' says Slawson. "A classic
navy suit with white flowers and ac-
cessories, a mix-and-match beaded
top with a silk taffeta skirt, vintage
clothes like an Edwardian dress or a
Chanel-style suit are good substitutes."
If the bride wants some tradition
but not an expensive gown and head-
piece, Slawson says it's best to select
a cocktail dress. "A simple dress with
a scoop neck, and jacket for the
ceremony, will allow a lot of style
without fuss;' she says. Generally,
women over 30, with grown kids,
never wear a traditional gown, she
adds.
The honeymoon usually isn't as big
a focus as it was for the first wedding.
"Couples who have children and
demanding careers find it difficult to

organize things so that the honey-
moon follows the ceremony. Many
choose an overnight in a hotel or a
weekend getaway and then the big trip
on another date;' says Slawson. Still,
she feels that it's important to go on
a honeymoon, and to do so within six
months of the wedding.
Planning for a second wedding
usually takes three to four months.
Even though it's the second time
around, couples are not immune to in-
terference. "One woman I interviewed
(for the book) said, 'In my first wed-
ding, my mother dominated; in my
second, my daughter is taking over. "
The problems couples face are dif-
ferent. "In the first one, the big issue
between the two sets of parents
revolves around who is and isn't on the
guest list;' says Slawson. "In the sec-
ond, it tends to be issues over money,
stepchildren, taking the husband's
name, religion and who walks down
the aisle
One way to tackle the money situa-
tion is to decide on a prenuptial agree-
ment before the wedding ceremony.
"I find that the prenuptial is getting
more and more common," says
Slawson. "As women have more

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The Jewish News

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