The bride's family hires a coat
check company to watch the coat-
room of the congregation where the
ceremony and reception are being
held. The day after the wedding, one
of the guests phones the mother of
the bride to inform her that the coat
check employee had put out a little
basket, for tips — on her own initiative
and against company policy, as it turns
out when the furious mother calls the
company to complain.
A couple decides to get married on
the high school track field where they
met. The guests arrive at the bride's
house and buses take them to the
school. The guests enjoy the bus ride,
singing and drinking along the way.
Waiting at the field, near the chuppah
set up by the finish line, is the rabbi.
He asks the crowd to quiet down for
the ceremony, but a few guests crack
jokes. He then sternly asks the crowd
to be quiet so he can marry the
couple. The guests are finally quiet
and the rabbi proceeds with the cere-
mony, but he gets the names of the
bride and groom wrong, setting off
another round of merriment among
the guests. The crowd is in great
spirits; the rabbi is wondering how he
got talked into performing a wedding
on a high school track field.
Same Day, Same Time
An engaged couple is at her house.
Her parents tell the couple that they
are going out for a few hours. Her
mother asks if, in about a half hour,
would the daughter please go down to
the basement and transfer the load of
laundry that is now in the washing
machine into the dryer? Okay, says the
daughter, and the parents depart.
As soon as the parents leave, the
couple starts smooching. They take
off their clothes and . . .The phone
rings. It's the mother, reminding her
daughter to transfer the clothes. The
girl hangs up, then she and her
fiancee, both naked, walk down the
basement stairs to take care of the
laundry. Voices yell, "Surprise!" The
light flips on — it's a surprise shower
in their honor.
It's February, two young women,
strangers to each other, are sitting in
a bridal store, waiting to try on the
gowns each has ordered for their April
weddings. They get into a conversation.
So, one woman asks, when are you
getting married? April 6, replies the
other woman. How nice, says the first
woman, that's the same day I'm get-
ting married. What time is your wed-
ding? 8 p.m., replies the second. Me,
too, says the first woman, I'm also get-
ting married at 8 p.m. Who is marry-
ing you? Rabbi So-and-so, replies the
second woman. This is amazing, says
the first woman, that's who is also
marrying us. By the way, where is the
wedding taking place? Congregation
Such-and-such, replies the second
woman. What! exclaims the first
woman. That's also where I'm getting
Under the chuppah, the wedding
Turns out the rabbi and the syna-
ceremony has just ended. The groom gogue doublebooked two weddings for
has broken the glass. The couple has the exact same day, time and place.
kissed. They turn around to begin the Invitations to both weddings have
walk back up the aisle for the reces- already gone out.
sional. Before the groom can link arms
with her, the bride leans away from
him, does a little tap dance step,
throws open her arms and, like the an-
nouncer at the end of a cartoon,
declares, "Th-that's all, folks!"
The Jewish News 25