I COMMENT I
"We thought impotence had to be
permanent, but we were wrong:'
Questions, Questions:
What'll 2000 Bring?
ARTHUR J. MAGIDA
Assistant Editor
N
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Please call:
Urology Associates, P.C.
17100 W. Twelve Mile Rd., Southfield, Mich. 48076
(313) 557-1866
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46
FRIDAY, JANUARY 19, 1990
855-4464
Hunters Square • Farmington Hills
ineteen ninety brings
us one year closer to
the end of the century,
the dawn of a new millenium
— and, also, the moment of
final judgment, of sorts: In
the new era that awaits us,
what will 20th Century-Fox
be called? Will the Twentieth
Century Limited still be
limited? Will we have more
than our fill of articles like
this?
The problem with the end
of a century is that it throws
into disarray much of what
had been taken for granted
for a good chunk of the
previous 100 years. Another
problem is that it suggests
that an end has come to life
as we know it, as if putting
two different digits at the
beginning of a year puts an
entirely new face on what
goes on during that year. In-
stead, life will go pretty
much as we know it —
sometimes better,
sometimes worse, sometimes
just the same, day after day
after day.
But, in the meantime, as
the seconds tick away
toward the end of this cen-
tury (the 90's will have, start
to finish, a total of 3.2 billion
seconds), let us ponder what
might come about when this
new decade has finally
become the old one, when
the ball has come all the way
down in Times Square to
usher in . . . the 21st Cen-
tury.
• If kids continue to
mature at an earlier age,
will the age of bar/bat mitz-
vah be lowered?
• Will the discovery of in-
telligent life on another
planet affect the traditional
view of Creation?
• If the messiah comes,
will time end and will there
be a 22nd century? If there's
a good chance he'll be corn-
ing, should we cancel our life
insurance policies?
• Will scientists have the
technology to line up all the
holes in the bagels ever
created since time began? If
so, will they produce the
largest Black Hole in the
universe? Will it be lined
with cream cheese?
• If a Jew in the next cen-
tury marries a Moslem, and
their daughter marries a
Calvinist, and the child of
this second couple adopts a
lapsed B'hai whose deceased
biological parents were
Jains, what religion's
prayers over bread will be
said at family gatherings?
• Will horselovers deter-
mine that Mister Ed was
Jewish? Is that why he could
talk — Jewish horses are
smarter than gentile horses?
• Will the Catskills be
moved to the Sierra Nevadas
because that is a better
locale for the resort in-
dustry? Or will that be too
long a commute for New
Yorkers? • Will Jesse
Jackson run for president
with a Jewish running
mate?
• Will a Jew run. for presi-
dent with Jesse Jackson as
his/her running mate?
• Will a Jew be premier of
the Soviet Union?
• Will Jesse Jackson be
premier of the Soviet Union?
• Will there be a Soviet
Union?
• Will the intifada end?
• Which will cost more —
one year at college, a bar/bat
mitzvah, or a new car?
• Will the New York
Times' Mideast veteran,
Tom Friedman, win his 30th
Pulitzer Prize?
• If it is determined that
computers have souls, will
rabbis rule that they're
Jewish? If so, can they join
the B'nai B'rith?
❑
I NEWS I
Czech Jews Will
Gather Soon
Tel Aviv (JTA) — Over a
thousand invitations have
been extended to former
Czechoslovakian Jews for an
April 26-May 5 worldwide
gathering in Tel Aviv of
Jews from that country.
Dov Eisdoerfer, chairman
of the Israel-based World
Rally of Czechoslovakian
Jews, the organizing com-
mittee for the event, said
that his organization of
former Czech Jews helps to
pass down the memories of
their heritage to future ge-
nerations.
Events will include
celebration of the opening of
an exhibition of the heritage
of Czechoslovakian Jewry at
the Museum of the Diaspora;
a remembrance ceremony
for victims of the Holocaust
at the Czechoslovakian Mar-
tyr's Forest.
Those who wish to par-
ticipate in the event may
contact Eisdoerfer at 15
Achad Ha'am Street, Tel
Aviv, 65142.