PURELY COMMENTARY Mixed Marriages Continued from Page 2 understanding manner and left open windows of opportunity for subse- quent outreach and com- munal activities. To be sure, there are other ideological and psycho- logical considerations, and it is upon these areas that debate and further research should be focused. These views compel most serious consideration and realization of the destructive elements that emerge from concessions to mixed mar- riages. While acceptability is at once emphasized as a ma- jor awareness of what is transpiring, the factual results must not be swallow- ed into indifference. They are serious threats even to the minimal gains to be attained from the yielding to cooperativeness that is sought in the family affected by intermarriage. A special article in the Detroit News "USA This Week," published prior to both Chanukah and Christmas, made a series of suggestions under the heading "2 Faiths, 1 Family." Because it was proposed by a rabbi, the introduction should be read. It stated: For the estimated 40 per- cent of U.S. couples who are interfaith, the holidays can be a confusing time of year. Especially this year, when Chanukah and Christmas overlap. Many parents aren't sure how to celebrate with the kids or which rituals to use. "Whether the couple is Jewish and Christian, or a believer and a non-believer, or any mix of faiths, there are similar problems;' says Rabbi Steven Carr Reuben, who has been counseling interfaith couples for 15 years. He is the author of But How Will You Raise the Children? A Guide to Inter- faith Marriages ($6.95, Pocket Books). "In my experience, the successful interfaith rela- tionships happen when there's a team approach of dealing with issues and responding to problems:' Reuben offers tips on how to help your kids en- joy the holidays: If where to celebrate is a difficult decision, allow the children to celebrate Christmas with Christian relatives, Chanukah with the Jewish side of the family. Everyone can express how they feel during the holiday season by con- tributing their favorite theme, be it Santa Claus or 38 FRIDAY, JANUARY 5, 1990 menorahs. Each family memer can decorate cards or make their own ornaments. Don't get caught in the "right-wrong" trap. Celebrate the universal ideals of religious freedom and peace on Earth. Start your own family lifestyle and holiday tradi- tions, but only after shar- ing with the kids each parent's religious beliefs and the traditions that have been handed down. Incorporate something from both sides. There is an overwhelming yielding to this idea, yet it is doubtful whether it is totally operative. The majority in the land and its Christian em- phases grants the non-Jews an advantage. Therefore the challenge is more difficult to tackle for Jews. The Jewish responsibility may therefore be to return to the roots. That's where there is the duty to magnify the Jewish commitment that the intermingling of people of dif- fering faiths is as citizens respecting each other the American way and their religious observances to be dedicated and limited to their homes and schools and houses of worship. As citizens all owe the need to exchange honors as greetings on festivals and to treat them as obligatory to be respectful and to recognize the dignities of each other as loyal friendships. Of course this may be treated as an unattainable goal. Let it be contributable to whatever approaches are made to resolve such serious complications. Meanwhile, the compelling admission that the approach to the dilemma of intermar- riage has become acceptability. Like it or not, intermar- riages predominate and are cutting into our numerical ranks. But we are really at the commencement of the threats to our identifications as a religious faction in the American community. If ex- tended to extremes we may be writing off the totality of an independently operating kehilla, especially if we give totality to acceptability as is now proposed in the above quoted "2 Faiths:" interpreta- tion. The submission to accep- tability becomes a menacing threat. A pre-Chanukah Jewish Telegraphic Agency news story is especially revealing in the testing of developments that are becom- ing much more serious with the voluminous increase of mixed marriages. Under the revealing headline, "Greeting Card Industry Responding to Growing Rate of Intermar- riage," the JTA article con- tains the important facts: For Christians, December is the season to be jolly; for Jews, it is the time to celebrae the festival of lights. And for card manufacturers, regardless of faith, it is the season to sell greeting cards. This year, a new variety of holiday cards has ap- peared on the market, and they are causing a stir among both Jewish and in- terdenominational groups. One such card depicts an ostensibly Christian angel lighting a Chanukah menorah. Another shows ' Santa gleefully spinning a dreidel. A third is a graphic design of a Christmas tree transform- ing itself into a Star of David. Aimed specifically at the growing numer of inter- faith households in America today, these cards appear to validate the in- creasing trend of marriage between Christians and Jews. "We are depicting some universal symbols that make people in interfaith marriages feel good about the holidays," said Philip Okrend of Mixed-Blessing card manufacturers, a line of interfaith holiday cards designed by his wife, Elise. "Interfaith couples are a reality. We are simply fin- ding an adaptable solution to what can be an awkward situation," he said. But officials at the American Jewish Commit- tee and the National Con- ference of Christians and Jews fail to see any bless- ing in the firm's line of cards. "Greeting cards that mingle Santas and menorahs, angels, trees, stockings and Stars of David are objectional," the two groups said in a joint statement. "To combine the religious and cultural symbols of Chanukah and Christmas in greeting-card art is to diminish the sacred symols of each faith and is an af- front to Judaism, to Chris- tianity and to serious inter- faith relations .. . Says Egon Mayer: "The fact that these cards exist points to an incredi- ble need: to create a fami- ly life in interfaith homes in which both heritages are acknowledged and re- spected. It's a real problem for these families. The com- panies are touching on a sensitive nerve:' According to Mayer's research, the rate of inter- marriage has grown substantially in recent yearS. In the 1950s, only about seven Jews out of 100 married outside the faith. By the 1980s, that trend had increased to about 35 out of 100, a five- fold increase. Last year, there were bet- ween 400,000 and 600,000 Jewish-Christian mar- riages in the United States. "In a majority of inter- faith homes, Christmas is celebrated in some fashion, often with a freer said Mayer. "Jews feel a sense of urgency that their culture not be completely swallow- ed up." But Mayer feels strongly that attacking the jux- taposition of religious sym- bols in printed matter is not a solution to the problem. "The printing of inter- religious cards places a tremendous challenge before the organized Jewish community. The Jewish community must make our symbols understandable to the community at large." Mayer specifically sug- gested a massive public education campaign and organized pressure for public and private televi- sion programming of Chanukah specials. There has always been resentment, in dignified ranks of all faiths, of the capitalizing on religious themes and observances, especially at this time of faithfulness. But the greeting card appeal gets responses because so many fail to recognize the disgusting resort to cheap humor. ❑ Hatreds Again Continued from Page 2 Jewish historian and musicologist, and Dr. Irene Runge, professor of ethnology at Humbolt University and a spokeswoman for the East Berlin Jewish organization, the Times article exposes these prejudicial experiences: Dr. Runge and Dr. Kant said they had recently been subjected to anti- Semitic remarks by strangers here, and both said they were deeply disturbed by reports in the East German press of neo- Nazi incidents in various parts of this country. In Erfurt, the police are investigating the writing of anti-Semitic slogans on various buildings last month. There was another inci- dent last Thursday in a newly built apartment complex in Bernburg, near the border with West Ger- many. The state press agency said seven young men abducted three 11-year-old boys, beat them and then smeared a swastika on the forehead of one of them with hot wax from a candle while shouting Nazi slogans. Late last week, the chair- man of West Germany's far- right Republican Party Must democracy and anti-Semitism go hand in hand in Eastern Europe? demanded that his party be allowed to install itself in East Germany. About 20 young East Ger- man men marched down the well-traveled Friedrich- strasse carrying a banner with a slogan denouncing the Republicans: "No to Nazi Swine." The issue of Jews and anti-Semitism in East Ger- many is more complex than in other Warsaw Pact countries. In East Ger- many, as in Poland, Hungary and Rumania, many leaders chosen by Stalin to install a Soviet- style system after World War II were known to be of Jewish origin. In some cases, notably in Poland and Czechoslo- vakia, anti-Semitic purges were later set in motion, blaming the Jews for failures. In those countries, code words like "interna- tionalists, Trotskyites and rootless cosmopolites" were widely understood as critical terms referring to Jews. But in East Germany all such tendencies were made more complex by the legacy of the Nazi period. Such are the admonishing relevations toward a knowledge about the expan- ding hate-mongering. It might have been hoped that in intellectual, academic and literary circles there would be organized forces to combat the venom. ❑