I COMMENT

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Quite Frankly, Virginia,
Reindeer Aren't Jewish

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ARTHUR J. MAGIDA

Special to The Jewish News

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26

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 15, 1989

Orchard Lake Road
1st Light North of Maple
West Bloomfield

ever have I met
anyone named
Virginia. Not that I
have anything against the
name — or the state. It's a
lovely three-syllable sound,
one that connotes a certain
19th-century lushness, a
grace and manner that may
now be considered old-
fashioned, but will never,
one hopes, be out of fashion.
But if a Virginia ever does
cross my path, you can be
sure that I would shimmy
my way up to her and
murmer in my most
murmerous tones, "Yes,
Virginia, there is a Santa
Claus — for just about
everyone in the United
States, except for those
100,000 Americans who are
Buddhists and the 5.8
million who are Jews."
Yes, Virginia, in the
greater scheme of things,
these may be fairly inconse-
quential numbers. This is,
after all, a nation of almost
248 million people. Bud-
dhists and Jews and other
non-Christians make up the
tiniest fraction of the
American whole. And
around the globe, there are
about 1.6 billion Christians
— most of whom are visited
on Christmas eve by a very
busy Saint Nick.
Of all the seasons of the
year, the one in which
Christmas and Chanukah
occur cheek-by-jowl may be
the one that tests, more than
any other, the spiritual
mettle of Jewish parents.
For every "Ho, ho, ho" from
Santa, many a Jewish
parent moans, "Oy, oy, oy."
Tinsel, Christmas, trees,
reindeer, and that fat, jolly
man in the red, red suit are
everywhere —in shopping
malls, on TV specials, in
newspaper ads, and in rock
'n roll jingles.
(Santa also used to play in
Salvation Army bands on
street corners, but they all
seem to have been disbanded
— bad pun intended.)
Santa's omnipresence,
Virginia, dear, means that
many Jewish parents have
been plagued in the past few
weeks by screechy juvenile
pleadings. The queries were
relentless: Could they have
photos taken of them sitting
on Santa's oversized lap?
Could they buy one of those
five-inch, solid, all-chocolate

sculptures of Santa? And,
please, couldn't they all
gather around the family
piano — just once — to sing, "
I Saw Mommy Kissing San-
ta Claus"? It is, after all, a
darn cute song.

Against all this onslaught,
the Jewish parent has to be
understanding, but principl-
ed. Understanding because
this is the Golden Medina,
the New Land where the
streets may not be paved
with gold, but December 25
is filled — everywhere —
with the image of bellies full

But for some of us,
that fat fellow just
gets in the way.

of jelly and an obese fellow
yelling "Dash away, dash
away, dash away all!" at a
gaggle of reindeer.
And principled, because in
the wise words of the sages,
"This is not our way." Quite
frankly, Virginia, reindeer
are not Jewish.

On Tuesday, it will all be
over. By midnight on the
25th, that guy in the red suit
will be back at the North
Pole, resting after an ardu-
ous, planet-wide sleigh-ride.
Toys 'R` Us will be sweeping
up after setting news sales
records. And Jewish parents
will be mopping their brows
after surviving another
Christmas.

So, Virginia, for you, yes,
there is a Santa. And a fine
fellow is he. Happiness and
joy — and more (mostly
presents) — he delivers by
the score. The giving he per-
sonifies is a wonder. What's
troublesome is the insistence
in shops and on TV and just
about everywhere else that
America between
Thanksgiving and
Christmas is a monolith — a
Christian monolith.

As Jews can attest,
Virginia, it ain't necessarily
so. And Santa, a man of
wisdom and selflessness,
knows that, too.

In fact, he would probably
be just as happy if less was
made about him and more
was made about the spiri-
tual significance of the holi-
day he has come to repre-
sent. But until that happens,
Virginia, have yourself a
very merry Christmas.

❑