o
"Jewish Mother,”
"Liberated Woman" or
anything else. I am all of
these things and none of
them. I am the product of
years of development and
growth, including experi-
ences of joy and sorrow. I am
like fine chocolate, bit-
tersweet.
I was liberated long before
it was fashionable and I was
a Jewish mother as a 10-
year-old child. (You don't
even have to be Jewish to be
a Jewish mother, nor do you
have to be female.) If the
definition of a J.M. is a pro-
tective, assertive, overly
sensitive, deeply involved,
demonstrative person, then
hallelujah! C'est moil
Probably what causes the
greatest angst among single
people is when someone
looks at us with a mixture of
wonder and pity and says,
"You are so attractive. It's a
shame you aren't married.
Tsk tsk."
Would I gaze at anyone
and say, "You are such an
attractive person; it's a
shame you are overweight."
Or: "How come a couple like
you who argue so much are
not divorced?" Or, "You
seem so nice, why can't you
find a good job?"
Of course, no civilized per-
son would ask these things.
But there are those who con-
sider being single a national
dilemma and one that per-
mits constant probing into
the single person's psyche to
demand to know why.
The truth is that being
single is a trade-off — a mix-
ed blessing of being private,
with time of your own to use
as you see fit, plus the occa-
sional twinge of being left
out as you observe hand-
holding couples strolling
happily down life's road
together.
To some single people, the
fear of failure is a great de-
terrent to marriage, espe-
cially if they have feelings of
insecurity. Perhaps they are
the children of perfectionist
parents and this colors all
their decision-making.
If you are single, and none
of the above applies to you,
then you will have no trou-
ble replying easily when you
hear that ageless question:
"Why isn't a nice person like
you married?"
You'll smile sweetly at
your friend's Aunt Minnie
and say, "Gee, I've been too
busy to be aware of it. But,
gosh, you're right. I'm not
married! I didn't realize.
Thanks for telling me. I'll
give it some thought."
That ought to hold her —
but only until next time you
meet. ❑
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THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
99