and endocrinologist.
Sexual performance pro-
blems in the later years, he
says, may be caused by a
variety of factors, with
diabetes and hormonal
diseases among the most com-
mon. "The first thing we have
to do in such cases is make
sure there's nothing organical-
ly wrong," he says.
"A host of drugs produce im-
potence," says the physician,
who cites diuretics, beta
blockers, ulcer medications
and hypertension drugs, as
well as alcohol and marijuana.
The doctor says there
Social Security benefits.
Non-resident men
sometimes have supper with
female residents. Men and
women sit together after din-
ner in the dining room,
holding hands, or go out for
walks. "There are others who
are always together," she says.
Naimark notices, too, the
older men in general seem
healthier. "I have seen
80-year-olds who are like
70-year-olds used to be,"
Naimark says.
When death ends a relation-
ship, "It's a real separation.
There is deep feeling and they
Love, romance, or just plain
companionship — you never
outgrow the need, say
members of Detroit's most
senior singles community.
Ida Olson and Nathan Williams enjoy bingo.
In The Cards
B
RICHARD PEARL
Staff Writer
ingo!
It's not only a
game, it's a feeling.
It comes when
single people of the
opposite sex meet and discover
they are attracted to each
other. And age doesn't
diminish the power of the feel-
ing, say members of Detroit's
senior Jewish singles
community.
Whether widowed or divorc-
ed, regardless of their
economic position, single per-
sons in their 60s, 70s and 80s
are finding friendship,
romance, love — sometimes
even marriage — "right in
their own backyard."
A major reason is they have
more time to nurture and
cultivate relationships,
because they are responsible
only for themselves: their
Children are grown and they
are retirees.
As with younger singles,
seniors meet in their apart-
ment complexes, through
newspaper advertisements,
collecting for charity, at social
functions — wherever people
gather and are friendly.
There are drawbacks. For
one thing, women outnumber
men. For another, attrac-
tiveness, availability and
openness play a key role. And
often, to the more aggressive
among them -7 male or female
— go the spoils.
Those who enjoy these rela-
tionships appear to share
reasonably good health, in-
dependent lifestyles and a con-
tinuing interest in enjoying
life.
"Romantic feelings don't
just stop just because a person
gets older," says Miriam Sand-
weiss, the Jewish Community
Center's senior adult director
at the Jimmy Prentis Morris
Building."Many people feel
they have to keep re-
establishing relationships.
"Age is not chronological at
all," she says. "It has to do
with energy, fitness, outlook,
sociability, and so forth. To put
an age on somebody and
categorize them by it is really
misleading."
"Older people can find love,
but death and illness hovers
nearer,"- says Dr. Hershel
Sandberg, Southfield internist
"doesn't seem to be too much
correlation" between increas-
ing age and decreasing sexual
activity" Men as old as 94
have induced pregnancy, he
notes.
As for women, he says,
"Menopause would tend to
decrease the hesitancy to have
sex!"
Upbringing, mood, partner,
environment, stress and
fitness all play roles in emo-
tionally induced sexual pro-
blems, according to Sandberg.
"If all the proper checking is
done and everything organic
is normal," says the doctor,
"then it has to be an emo-
tional problem, such as with
the partner, and we refer the
patient to a sex therapist!'
For many women, the main
problem is "the men die off,"
says Helen Naimark, Federa-
tion Apartments director.
Beyond that, there is a
tendency among eligible male
apartment residents to join
one of two groups, she says.
"One group is open to women,
the other will have nothing to
do" with them.
Women in the apartments
tend to dress neater and have
more concern about their
makeup and hair. "The men
are not quite the same, not
quite as preened," she says.
"When an attractive man
moves in, a lot of interest is
generated," Naimark says.
Recently, of 275 residents in
the two buildings now open in
the Oak Park complex, 70
were men, which was a high
proportion, Naimark says.
"There's something nice
about people finding others at-
tractive," although many
elderly are not marrying
because they fear losing their
will grieve as much as if it's a
married situation," says
Naimark. "It's a fragile time
of life?'
The world outside the apart-
ments also has its stories.
Ida Olson, widowed 19
years, met Nathan Williams,
five years a widower, through
the "People Connector" ads in
The Jewish News. A publish-
ed poet, Mrs. Olson brewed a
clever, yet honest, bit of verse
in her first-ever ad:
If you're a fine gentleman
past 65
And still alive,
A note from you may do the
trick
If your loving companionship
Will make it stick.
"I got one response, but that
was all I needed," says Mrs.
Olson. "He was the guy. I
couldn't have picked him any
better!'
Williams, a retired chemical
engineer who loves to dance
and who last month passed
his 87th birthday, responded
to her ad:
"Your poetry struck a spark.
Am ready for adventure. Can
we meet for coffee first to see
if we are compatible?"
The two hit it off, as-both are
active, outgoing people who
maintain their own
residences.
Ida, a retired governmental
worker, keeps busy by writing
poetry, cooking — she created
the winning "Jackie Mason
Sandwich" in a recent Plaza
Deli contest — dancing, going
to concerts and bingo games
and being with her- children
and grandchildren.
Since retiring from the auto
industry and Ford Hospital's
pharmaceutical department,
Nathan has been active at the
Jimmy Prentis Morris Jewish
THE DFTIRDT .IFWISH NFINS
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