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August 18, 1989 - Image 28

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1989-08-18

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

CLOSE-UP

True Colors

Continued from preceding page

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See ABC's Saturday Morning Cartoon Stars!

LIVE AND IN PERSON!!

Those delightful stars of. ABC Saturday Morning TV are coming to town—to
entertain the entire family in an exciting fun-filled musical extravaganza!

Summit Place Mall Grand Court

Friday, August 18 through Sunday, August 20

Performance Times

Friday and Saturday, 11 a.m., 1, 3, 5 and 7 p.

Sunday, 1 and 3 p.m.

* Bugs Bunny"'
Daffy Duck and Sylvester TM

* Winnie the Pooh, Tigger
and the Gummi Bears

* Beetlejuice

* Slimer and the Real Ghostbusters

* A Pup Named Scooby-Doo

and

* Tina Taco and the Bell Rockers

11 PLUS—SPECIAL GIFTS FOR THE KIDS

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Don't miss the Summit Place Express Train!

Monday through Friday, 11 a.m.-8 p.m.; Saturday, 10 a.m.-9 p.m.;
Sunday noon-5 p.m. Train runs August 12 through September 10

Admission 75'

Located near JCPenney

S iaace

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Telegraph & Elizabeth Lake Roads in Waterford Township

david cains • closet designs

20% off

custom closet
installations

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834-1048

28

FRIDAY, AUGUST 18, 1989

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told me, If you think it's the
best thing for you, then I'm
supportive.' "
Berris said it was "never
a question that my family
would be supportive, though
it was difficult to get out
those two short words 'I'm
gay.' For 24 years, I'd been so
unsure about what that
meant."
After coming out, Berris
helped found the Motor Ci-
ty Business Forum, a gay-
lesbian professional group
based in Detroit. He was in-
volved with Lambda Chai
and , attends meetings of
Simcha.
Like other gay Jews, Ber-
ris prefers to work with gay
rather than Jewish groups
because "a sufficient
number of people are put-
ting their time to making a
success at fund-raising for
and the continuation of
Jewish organizations, but
not enough feel comfortable
raising money and speaking
out for a gay group."
As with Marc Kaplan,
Sandy Berris chooses to
publicly identify himself as
gay so that he might serve
as a resource. "Maybe I
could give support to so-
meone else; it's important
for other gays and lesbians
of all ages who are having
trouble coming out."
Berris also hopes to force
others to re-evaluate their
prejudices about gays.
"If people get to know me
first as an individual, then
when they learn that I'm
. gay, they understand that is
just another part of who I
am," he says.
"You can choose to come
out of the closet or not, but
you can't choose to be gay or
lesbian any more than you
can choose to be straight. I
was born Jewish and gay,
and I'm proud of both."

he house is spotless.
Decorated in blacks and
whites and beiges, it is
filled
with
family
photographs: a little boy
with dark hair, a pretty girl
with pearl earrings and a
tall young man who recent-
ly celebrated his bar
mitzvah.
Mark, the father of these
children, rests on the white
couch of the living room. He
needs a lot of rest these days.
He is dying.
Forty-three years old,
Mark has AIDS. He travels
across the country in search
of treatment. He keeps a
machine in his hall closet
that pumps oxygen into his
frail body. Sometimes, he
wakes up and cannot
breathe.
His conversation is filled

with a litany of cynicism.
"I'd bet my life on it," he
says. "Of course, it's not
worth much these days."
When he dies, Mark will
leave behind not only his
children but his long-time
companion, Bob, hundreds
of friends to whom he loved
to serve coffee and
homemade desserts, and his
ex-wife, still a friend.
They were high school
sweethearts at Mumford.
She was petite and pretty.
He was tall, blond and had
a keen sense of humor.
"We got married, built a
house in the suburbs, had

`When I talk to
parents of gays
and lesbians, I tell
them it's so wrong
to turn away:
these are your
children, right or
wrong:

kids, got a dog and a station
wagon — the whole bit," he
says.
He continued, as he had
been since he was 11, to be
interested in men. Mark
soon became part of a
private group of gay married
men.

"I know hundreds of gay
men who are married and
live in both worlds," he says.
"They cruise bars and hang
out at baths at night, and
they've been doing it for
years and years."
Realizing he was "living a
lie that was unfair to me
and to my wife," Mark came
out of the closet.
His wife was understan-
ding when Mark told her
about his sexual preference.
His parents, whom he told
only after he contracted
AIDS, "weren't exactly
thrilled," but Mark
understands: "It's hard for
Jewish parents. It's a real
shanda to say to the mah-
jongg ladies, 'You know, my
son is gay.' "
Over time, Mark's parents
have come to accept Bob.
"Now they have him over to
dinner and include him in
family functions. After all,
they included my wife when
we were married: If they
didn't have Bob, I wouldn't
go," Mark says.
When Mark met Bob, it
was an immediate attrac-
tion. Mark was especially
pleased that Bob also is
Jewish. "It was very impor-
tant to me. It means we
share the same kind of
education, the same values.

, —

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