also recommends joining self-
help groups for widowed,
separated or divorced people.
She has made friends with
other women through such
groups.
What she sees as a paucity
of "good Jewish men in
Michigan" has caused Karen
Sklar, 23, to date out-of-
staters. However, Sklar, a
senior at Wayne State
University from Farmington
Hills, says that "going out
with someone Jewish from
another state creates a sort of
vicious circle" when each
relationship ends.
Knowing a wide variety of
people helps, says Deborah
Laurie, 27, director of special
events at the Cystic Fibrosis
Foundation of metro Detroit.
She says she has kept her old
Jewish friends from high
school but feels "It's not im-
portant tp have just Jewish
friends."
David Sklar, 36, a
Southfield psychotherapist,
says he doesn't look at his
singlehood as a stress situa-
tion — "if anything, it's
periodic bouts with
loneliness. Maybe it's those
times when I want marriage
and a family. It's not stressful,
but I do feel a little sad."
He gets away from stress by
calling good friends in St.
Louis and Philadelphia.
Steve Bloom, 24, of
Southfield, an auto mechanic,
hews to ties with his family.
He chose that over an engage-
ment to a non-Jewish woman
whom he dated for three
years but who wanted him to
break away from his parents
and his Jewishness. ❑

I NEWS

Herzog Starts
Radio Chats

Tel Aviv (JTA) — President
Chaim Herzog last week in-
itiated a new series of mon-
thly "fireside chats," which
he plans to broadcast on
Israel Radio. He is the first
Israeli president to do so.
Herzog, an experienced
radio commentator, opened
his first broadcast in the
series by referring to the
"ongoing struggle of our right
in our land, a continuing
struggle which takes its toll
every day."
He spoke of the recent
seizure of an Egged bus and
the resultant deaths and in-
juries of civilians as another
instance of "mad and in-
discriminate terrorism."
"We have not learned, nor
shall we ever learn, to accept
with indifference this loss of
human lives and
bereavements," he said.

„

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Halabe, 28, of Livonia.
A production information
analyst for Unisys Corp.,
Halabe says he's uncertain
how Jewish women view
Jewish men who are office
workers, plumbers or
mechanics, rather than doc-
tors, lawyers and accoun-
tants. Possible rejection leads
to stress.
"I try to go out there think-
ing with an open mind, giv-
ing the benefit of the doubt to
Jewish women that they're
open-minded, not living on a
cloud with the stereotype,
realizing that not every man
is a doctor or attorney.”
Halabe, who worked in both
Washington, D.C., and Los
Angelesbefore returning to
Livonia, says having a thick
skin, pushing himself to get
involved in Jewish singles ac-
tivities wherever he's lived
and realizing "the other side
is probably doing the same
thing, that other people are
having the same type of ap-
prehensions," helps him cope.
Social worker Adrienne
Hecker of West Bloomfield, a
widow and grandmother,
keeps moving — "going and
doing as many things as
possible." She is disappointed
with Jewish singles events
but because "they don't lend
themselves to getting to know
people — they're too super-
ficial."
Lissa Hurwitz, 33, of
Southfield, public relations
director for the Jewish Corn-
munity Council, says she
copes by not going to singles
events. "I decided not to con-
tinue to immerse myself in ac-
tivities that are unsatisfy-
ing."
Hurwitz does date but "I
don't feel desparate to find a
man." Instead, she enjoys
novels and "family history
things that have a large emo-
tional component to them
when I don't have it in my
life."
On the other hand, joining
singles' and self-help groups
have been beneficial for some.
Sharon Stein, 48, of
Southfield, divorced mother
of six, says she copes by work-
ing with the Social Singles,
the Jewish Community
Center group for
40-to-55-year-olds which she
helped form.
Stella Rives, a widow and
grandmother, says socializing
with people in her age group
has helped. A member of
Temple Israel's Singles Ex-
tension Group for those 55
and up, she joined because
she "could look in people's
eyes and say, 'We're all in the
same boat.' "
She travels frequently as a
way to enjoy a change of
scenery and faces. And Rives

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