SINGLE LIFE AAIUT LL WALL S•A•L•E 10 DAYS ONLY - ENDS AUG. 13 50% TuO 13 OFF EVERYTHING AT BOTH TEL-12 LOCATIONS 40% OFF 1989 FLAIR SHOWROOM SAMPLES The shoulder-rub exercise at a stress-management session for Jewish singles. 50% OFF ALL LEATHER IN-STOCK Watch for our new Design Studio in West Bloomfield Opening in October Tel-Twelve Mall 12 Mile & Telegraph Southfield Daily 10-9, Sun. 12-5 354-9060 Fine furniture, accessories & gifts... 8tud io 8 TABLE PADS CUSTOM MADE TO YOUR SIZE AND SHAPE SAVE $18 ON ALL SIZE PADS WE WILL COME OUT AND MEASURE YOUR TABLE $ 4 8 42" x " 64" 2 WEEK DELIVERY F.O.B. FACTORY McrsterCard Vinyl top, felt bottom washable, heat resistant LEAVES PRICED SEPARATELY CUSTOM TABLE PAD CO. 557-4108 358.4085 M-F 10-4 in latif • s pescfc:o.liroies that take you anywhere, anytime 29107 NORTHWESTERN 2ND DOOR FROM 12 MILE RD • REAR ENTRANCE NEXT TO CAPITOL DRUGS 76 FRIDAY, AUGUST 4, 1989 Singles Try Variety Of Ways To Cope With 'Jewish Stress' RICHARD PEARL Staff Writer H ow do Detroit's Jew- ish singles cope with what might be called "Jewish Singles Stress"? Generally, the same as with other forms of stress, accor- ding to an informal survey. Some in Detroit's Jewish singles community say "Jewish Singles Stress" is really no different from the stress felt by anyone who's single and seeking a mar- riage partner. But others say it's a par- ticular kind of stress, due to the emphasis Judaism places on the sanctity of the family and the desire to maintain and carry forward Jewish life. "In Judaism, if you're single, you're incomplete," says Robert Levy, 41, a Southfield radio-tv advertis- ing producer. "The message is hammered in from everywhere, even via the media: you're unhappy, un- fulfilled. 'Why am I single? Why haven't I found my part- ner for life?' " Levy, who returned this year to Detroit after living since 1973 in California, helped form a number of singles groups there, trying to help participants develop socialization skills. "Jewish women are much more attuned to marriage and family," he says. "When they hit their 30s, they become aware their emo- tional and biological clocks are running out. They're not desperate, but they feel, 'I've put a lot of time into meeting eligible Jewish males, so why haven't I met Mr. Right?' " Parents wanting grand- children add to the pressure of young never-marrieds, he says. But meeting eligible partners is a stressful situa- tion faced by singles of all ages and situations, including those divorced or widowed. So, how do Detroit's Jewish singles cope? "Basically, by taking valium and having a nice Jewish girl come over to my house and give me a back- rub," jokes Southfield at- torney Sheldon Kay, 40. Ac- tually, he says, he uses meditation and music — he's a guitarist in a rock band in the evenings wholikes to "jam along with records" to relax. Kay has been using medita- tion since entering law school in 1974. Meditation requires him to focus and visualize tranquil imagery, he explains. He also has used and recom- mends flotation tanks. Kay has tried exercise, "but I think it's boring." "I have a lot of stress as a Jewish single — I'm torn bet- ween whether I should be dating Jews or Gentiles. Be- ing Jewish and assimilated, it (the dating question) is very confusing. I've dated a lot of non-Jewish women with a lot of great qualities." Kay says he used to throw numerous parties for his fellow singles, but was disap- pointed. "We got the same faces, the same kvetches. I want to do something more creative if I ever get involved again." Visualization is a technique also recommended by Leslie Miller, a Southfield hyp- notherapist who recently con- ducted a singles stress management workshop at the Maple/Drake Jewish Com- munity Center. The bottom line, she says, is knowing what you want. "There are so many people who don't know what they want because they don't feel they deserve it or that they will get it." A former divorcee, she used the focusing techni- que — wherein the user zeroes in on likes and dislikes — to remarry. For immediate stress relief — and as a way of meeting people — Miller recommends shoulder-rubs. "You just go up to interesting strangers in a bar, for example, and say, 'Ex- cuse me, you look stressed. May I rub your shoulders?' It's a good way to start a con- versation. And when you've finished rubbing, you say, `Now do me!' " she says. Keeping an open mind is a technique used by Aaron